Their naked bodies lay tangled together, completely exhausted and glistening with sweat. Neither of them could tear their eyes off of the other. Peaceful, perfect silence was the only thing between them. Kris finally closed his eyes and smiled.
"I can't believe we waited so long to do that. What were we thinking?"
"Obviously we weren't thinking," Brie managed though she was still slightly breathless.
"No, someone was too stubborn to admit her true feelings," he teased.
"I think we're both guilty of that! Besides, I don't think it would have been this...amazing if we hadn't gone through everything. This was absolutely perfect Kristopher, and I wouldn't trade it for anything."
She stretched her neck up and kissed him softly and sweetly. She loved the feel of his lips on hers; hell she loved the feel of his naked body against hers! That sweet kiss quickly turned passionate and full of expectation.
His hands traced the lines of her body; she let her hands roam freely over his sculpted torso; and their lips never parted. She rolled them over, landing on top of him and straddling his legs. Looking down at him, her heart was so full of love and her eyes were full of...him.
'This is as good as it gets' she thought to herself. 'I could just stay right here and look at his gorgeous, tightly muscled body forever.'
Her thoughts drifted back to what his body was doing to her only an hour earlier and she felt her excitement dripping from between her legs. Kristopher's excitement was quickly becoming evident as well.
She leaned down and kiss him; first his lips, then slowly she made her way along his perfectly chiseled jaw line to the sweet, very ticklish spot on his neck, down over his shoulders and the length of his arm and back up again only to start her way down his chest towards the promise land.
"Mmmmmm chérie," he moaned. "You're killing me. I can't take anymore."
He tried to flip her over but Brie was having none of it.
"Nuh uh Coconut, it's my turn. Sit back and enjoy the ride."
She started rocking her hips back and forth, teasing his tip with her warm, wet opening.
"God Brie, please," he begged, "I can't take your teasing a second more."
"Yes sir," she whispered before slowly easing the full length of him inside her.
Kris' eyes rolled back in his head and the sound that escaped his lips sounded like a carnal caged animal desperate to break free and it only turned her on more.
"Oh my god Brie, don't ever stop."
She obliged and kept up her rhythmic movements.
Kris marvelled at the beautiful girl that was currently eliciting feelings inside of him that he never dreamed he would feel. He had to feel her close to him so he sat up and wrapped his arms around her, never letting himself break free of her.
They both collapsed in a heap of hot, panting sweatiness and practically willed themselves to breathe.
"I'm hungry," "I'm starving," they both said at the same time.
"Shower first," Brie said as she threw one of Kris' t-shirts on and headed for the bathroom. "You coming?"
"Where do you want to go eat," she asked. "Bertoli's, Mexi's, Chinese?"
"I'd rather stay here and keep you all to myself," Kris replied sneaking up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist.
"I think you've had enough of me, we need some nourishment."
"I will never, ever get enough of you," he said kissing her neck.
"If you don't stop, I'll die of starvation and we won't have to worry about it."
"Fine. How about Mexican, but can we order in?"
"Deal."
After eating, they curled up on the couch together.
"Tell me about Val D'Or," she purred as Kris ran his fingers through her hair.
He told her about his first year away from home; the highs, the lows and all about the Kellys.
"I want to take you there to meet them and so you can see where I am when I'm away from you. I want you to know about my life there."
"I would love that," she said and kissed his hand.
"Your turn. Tell me about school."
She told him what little there was to tell; classes, teachers, and the fact that she had lived her life like a hermit."
"That doesn't make me happy to hear Brie. That's not what I wanted for you. You should be living it up; getting the full university experience, new friends, parties, all that stuff."
"Oh listen to it! You spent your season hanging out with a fifty year old couple; not exactly living the life of a teenage hockey player. Besides, parties are nothing but drunken love fests with everyone trying to hook up and regretting it the next day. No thank you!"
"So this year will be different. We both got what we wanted so now we can be happy and enjoy the full experience. Deal?"
"I'm still not going to any of those stupid frat parties."
"Brielle?"
"Deal."
"I love you Brie."
"I will never get tired of hearing those words," she said kissing him softly. "I love you too Kristopher. When do we go to Val D'Or?"
Monday, July 26, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Chapter 14
She was positive she couldn't cry anymore tears. She didn't get out of bed for two days and now after almost two weeks of moping around the house her mother had had enough. She opened Brie's bedroom door, went straight to the window and threw the curtains open.
"God damn it mother!"
"Don't you use that tone with me young lady. I have said nothing while you've roamed around this house being miserable. You haven't spoken to anyone other than grunting every once in a while and I've had enough! Get your ass out of bed and start acting like a god damn human being again. And for god sakes take a shower!" and with that, Margot LaRoche slammed her daughter's door.
Forty-five minutes later Brie emerged from the bathroom looking slightly refreshed but still weary. She sat down across the kitchen table from her mother and she pushed and steaming hot mug of coffee towards her.
"Thanks," Brie replied meekly.
"So...you're letting him do this to you again?"
"Mother don't. I don't want to talk about it."
"Well that's too bad," her mother replied crossly. "I stood by and watched you torture yourself last summer over him and I'm not going to do it again. For God sake Brielle, I thought you were over him? What the hell happened?"
"He told me he loved me."
The look on Margot's face was one of confusion. "But isn't that what you wanted?"
"My whole life. But like everything else, my perfect moment was ruined."
Brie explained what had happened in the backyard.
"And now I'm confused maman. I don't know who to believe! He broke my heart when he told me he didn't love me a year ago and now that he finally did tell me, it's breaking my heart all over again because he said it out of spite."
Margot placed her hand over Brie's. "Oh chérie, you are such a silly girl."
"Gee thanks mom, that's helpful."
"Why do you have to make everything so difficult? If you would have just admitted your feelings for Kristopher a long time ago this whole situation could have been avoided."
"Yes, well I didn't and now I'm in an even bigger mess."
"Non chérie, you're not looking at things clearly because you can't see through all your imaginary drama."
"I did not imagine this happening mother," Brie shouted.
"Calm down dear, I just meant that you know the answer to your dilemma, you just can't see it."
"And I suppose you can?"
"Of course I can. I've known for the last ten years. Honey Kristopher is in love with you just as much as you are in love with him."
"And what about what Rob said; that he just did it to keep me away from him?"
"Brielle, you know Kris better than you know anyone else in the entire world. You know he is completely pure of heart. Do you really think he'd say those three very special words just to keep you from a guy you don't even really like? Who has more to gain by lying Brie? You spent your entire highschool career despising Rob Taylor, and he spent his competeing with Kris for you, and now that he thinks he's got a chance with you of course he's going to lie to get you to believe whatever will drive you away from Kris and straight to him."
Brie pondered her mothers word while she sipped from her mug.
"Why do I need you to sort out my life for me? How do you know how I feel and what I think before I do?"
"I'm your mother chérie, that's my job. Now for the love of God will you please go over there and put that boy out of his misery!"
A smile crossed Brie's face for the first time in two weeks.
"Yes mother," she said jumping up from the table and giving her mother a kiss on the cheek. She bounded down the hallway before stopping and going back to the kitchen doorway.
"Maman?"
"Yes chérie?"
"Merci. Je t'aime."
"Je t'aime aussi."
-----------------------------------------
His car was in the driveway so she knew he was home. She let herself in the back door and quietly made her way through the house looking for him. As she crept down the hallway she noticed his bedroom door was closed. She opened it a crack and saw he was still sleeping.
'Odd' she thought. 'He never sleeps this late.' Years of early morning practices had all but made it impossible for him to sleep in; a quality she hated about him for no other reason than the fact that she was not a morning person.
He was on his back with one arm bent above his head and the other laying across his shirtless abdomen.
'That's new' she thought,'I've seen him shirtless before and he never looked like that!' She could feel her temperature rise and was sure she was blushing.
"Thank you Val d'Or," she said out loud and immediately cursed herself when he began to stir.
His hair flowed over his pillow and his lips slightly parted into a small smile. Dear God! She could just sit here and watch him sleep forever. He was perfect, the finest male specimen she'd ever laid eyes on.
His voice snapped her out of her little fantasy.
"Brielle, je t'aime. Veuillez ne pas me laisser."
She froze; watched him for a minute and realized he was talking in his sleep. Dreaming perhaps?
"Je vous laissera jamais coconut," she whispered. "I will never leave you."
Enough was enough. She had to get this over with. Brie gently laid down beside him, slowly inching her way closer until she was snuggled up beside him and put her head down on his arm and her hand on top of his own that graced the top of that beautifully sculpted abdomen.
He inhaled shaprly, like he was startled and opened his eyes. Looking up at him were the gorgeous blue eyes he had memorized and the lips he longed to kiss once again.
"I must be dreaming," he whispered in that gruff morning voice you get the first time you speak for the day. "Or I've died and gone to heaven and this is what an angel looks like."
She smiled up at him.
"Pretty cheesy Letang. You don't think that line's gonna work on me do you?"
"I certainly hope so."
"Well, you're lucky I'm in the mood for cheesy this morning."
"Brie I..."
"Shhhh," she said placing her finger over his lips. She stretched her neck up and he bent his neck down stopping just before their lips met.
"I love you Brielle," he whispered.
"I should have never doubted you," she whispered back before fusing their lips together in an explosive chemical reaction that had them both seeing stars.
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him telling her he never wanted to let her go. She explored the ridges and valleys his well toned muscles made across his back; her touch sending the most amazing chill through his naturally warm body. His strong hands wound their way through her chestnut locks and she returned the gesture, having waited so many years to have a reason to caress his soft, midnight mane.
Their kiss was explosive; passionate; desperate. Her entire body was electrified and she could feel the heat developing in her lower abdomen. She could also feel the heat and excitement developing between his legs.
"Kristopher," she mummbled breathlessly pulling away so she could look in his eyes.
"Mmm hmm?"
"I am so sorry; for everything. I should have never doubted you. I love you so much."
"I waited so long to hear those words Brie. And when you finally said them; I was devestated that I had to hurt you the way I did. It almost killed me to do it Brie, but I had too."
"I know," she replied caressing the side of his face. "I understand why you did it. Thank you Kristopher. Thank you for loving me enough to let me go; for forcing me to live my life."
"There's nothing I wouldn't do for you Brielle; to make you happy."
Her sparkling smile lit up her face at his words; and she knew they were true.
"Then kiss me again," she grinned.
He was positive he had died and gone to heaven because every dream he'd ever had of her was coming true. He wanted her to know how much he loved her; he wanted her to be able to feel it when he touched her.
He tangled his fingers in her long locks and lowered his mouth onto hers; slowly and gently. He wanted her so badly but he would not let his urges get the best of him. This was about him and her and the love the two of them had shared for a lifetime.
His lips massaged hers delicately yet had a firmness behind them. When her lips parted and he slipped his tongue in her mouth she couldn't stifle her moan. Years of pent up feelings were threatening to escape from every orfus of their bodies; their bodies that clung together, holding each other as if it was their only salvation.
As his lips moved from her mouth down her jaw and to her neck she moaned out her pleasure. Tingling sensations coursed through her entire body and she was sure she would explode if she didn't have him right now.
She pulled away from him and stood beside the bed; standing over his muscular frame.
"What's wrong," he asked; concern oozing from his voice.
"Nothing," she smiles. "Everything is perfect."
"Then why are you over there," he asked swinging his legs around so he could sit in front of her.
She was trembling and hoped he wouldn't notice. She smiled down at him and without saying a word, lifted her t-shirt over hear head revealing a pale pink lace bra that looked devestating against her tanned skin.
His breath caught in his throat and he could not stifle the groan that escaped his mouth.
"My God you're beautiful Brie," he whispered pulling her towards him as he placed gentle kisses all over her abdomen.
Her turn to moan. He was killing her.
He kissed his way up her body making a brief stop at each of her breasts; kissing them gently and nipping at her taught nipples through the material of her bra. He moved further north across her chest and up to her neck until he was standing in front of her looking in her eyes. His mouth engulfed hers once again and she wrapped her arms around his neck and twisted her fingers through his luscious hair.
This time he stopped and pulled away leaving her panting for more. When she saw the devilish look in his eyes she had no doubt there was more to come. His strong hands undid the button of her jeans and the motion of him sliding his hands in the waistband undid the zipper, allowing his lips to begin the descent down her body as his hands guided her pants down her long, tanned legs until the were in a heap at her feet. She held on to his strong, broad shoulders as she pulled her feet out and he discarded her clothing by tossing them across the room.
He was on his knees in front of her and kissed her belly just above the waist of her panties.
"Mmmm you match," he growled.
She just smiled; unable to find her voice. She had imagined this moment thousands of times in her mind, but real life was far better that any of her fantasies had been.
He stood in front of her and kissed her full, pink lips again before picking her up and gently laying her down on his bed.
He stood towering over her, drinking in the image of her nearly naked body laying before him. He could have orgasmed just standing there looking at her, and it took every ounce of his self control not to ravage her body right that second.
As her big blue eyes stared up at him lovingly, he stripped himself of the shorts he was wearing and stood before her in nothing but extremely well fitted black boxer briefs.
Brie was afraid to move her eyes away from his gaze, but her desire got the best of her and she had to take in the full view that was being offered to her.
She bit her bottom lip and slowly let her eyes move down his body; ughh that body! It looked like it had been carved out of milk chocolate; meticulous attention being paid to every well defined muscle.
She felt the heat rise between her legs once more an her wetness was almost becoming unbearable.
"Kristopher, you are absolutely exquisite," she barely squeaked out.
"And you are the most beautiful creature I have ever had the priviledge of laying eyes on."
She gave him a smile that melted his heart and he laid down beside her on the bed. She turned so she was facing him and instinctually caressed his leg with hers, causing him to let out a low moan that let her know he liked what she was doing.
His hands gently caressed from her leg up her torso to her arms. Her hands explored every crevace of his perfectly toned body. He nuzzled his face into her neck and moaned out his pleasure. When his lips began the assault on her neck she reciprocated. He took the bottom of her earlobe between his teeth and quietly whispered in her ear, "I've been waiting for you for so long Brielle. I want you so damn badly it hurts."
She kissed him sweetly on the lips before offering her reply.
"I've loved you my entire life Kristopher. I have never loved anyone but you and I will never love anyone but you. I want to give myself to you completely Kris; you and only you."
He realized the magnitude of her words and was privately thanking God for giving him the strength to abstain so he would be able to give her the same gift.
"I've never...I've never wanted to be with anyone but you Brielle. I thought if I ever got the chance to be with you..." he stopped and tried to hold back his emotions but it was no use. His love for her was so intense and the fact that every wish he'd ever had was about to come true, was too much for him to hold back. Tears escaped his dark eyes.
Brie now had tears of her own and as she wiped his away, he did the same for her.
"This is everything I've ever dreamed of Brie," he whispered against her mouth.
"This is more than I ever dreamed off," she replied. "I need you Kristopher. I need to be with you; to feel you inside me. We've waited too long already, I can't wait anymore."
Arms wrapped around each other, legs twisted together and mouths came together to form one. They each knew the truth now, and as Kris made love to Brie for the first time, they both knew that this was the start of their forever.
"God damn it mother!"
"Don't you use that tone with me young lady. I have said nothing while you've roamed around this house being miserable. You haven't spoken to anyone other than grunting every once in a while and I've had enough! Get your ass out of bed and start acting like a god damn human being again. And for god sakes take a shower!" and with that, Margot LaRoche slammed her daughter's door.
Forty-five minutes later Brie emerged from the bathroom looking slightly refreshed but still weary. She sat down across the kitchen table from her mother and she pushed and steaming hot mug of coffee towards her.
"Thanks," Brie replied meekly.
"So...you're letting him do this to you again?"
"Mother don't. I don't want to talk about it."
"Well that's too bad," her mother replied crossly. "I stood by and watched you torture yourself last summer over him and I'm not going to do it again. For God sake Brielle, I thought you were over him? What the hell happened?"
"He told me he loved me."
The look on Margot's face was one of confusion. "But isn't that what you wanted?"
"My whole life. But like everything else, my perfect moment was ruined."
Brie explained what had happened in the backyard.
"And now I'm confused maman. I don't know who to believe! He broke my heart when he told me he didn't love me a year ago and now that he finally did tell me, it's breaking my heart all over again because he said it out of spite."
Margot placed her hand over Brie's. "Oh chérie, you are such a silly girl."
"Gee thanks mom, that's helpful."
"Why do you have to make everything so difficult? If you would have just admitted your feelings for Kristopher a long time ago this whole situation could have been avoided."
"Yes, well I didn't and now I'm in an even bigger mess."
"Non chérie, you're not looking at things clearly because you can't see through all your imaginary drama."
"I did not imagine this happening mother," Brie shouted.
"Calm down dear, I just meant that you know the answer to your dilemma, you just can't see it."
"And I suppose you can?"
"Of course I can. I've known for the last ten years. Honey Kristopher is in love with you just as much as you are in love with him."
"And what about what Rob said; that he just did it to keep me away from him?"
"Brielle, you know Kris better than you know anyone else in the entire world. You know he is completely pure of heart. Do you really think he'd say those three very special words just to keep you from a guy you don't even really like? Who has more to gain by lying Brie? You spent your entire highschool career despising Rob Taylor, and he spent his competeing with Kris for you, and now that he thinks he's got a chance with you of course he's going to lie to get you to believe whatever will drive you away from Kris and straight to him."
Brie pondered her mothers word while she sipped from her mug.
"Why do I need you to sort out my life for me? How do you know how I feel and what I think before I do?"
"I'm your mother chérie, that's my job. Now for the love of God will you please go over there and put that boy out of his misery!"
A smile crossed Brie's face for the first time in two weeks.
"Yes mother," she said jumping up from the table and giving her mother a kiss on the cheek. She bounded down the hallway before stopping and going back to the kitchen doorway.
"Maman?"
"Yes chérie?"
"Merci. Je t'aime."
"Je t'aime aussi."
-----------------------------------------
His car was in the driveway so she knew he was home. She let herself in the back door and quietly made her way through the house looking for him. As she crept down the hallway she noticed his bedroom door was closed. She opened it a crack and saw he was still sleeping.
'Odd' she thought. 'He never sleeps this late.' Years of early morning practices had all but made it impossible for him to sleep in; a quality she hated about him for no other reason than the fact that she was not a morning person.
He was on his back with one arm bent above his head and the other laying across his shirtless abdomen.
'That's new' she thought,'I've seen him shirtless before and he never looked like that!' She could feel her temperature rise and was sure she was blushing.
"Thank you Val d'Or," she said out loud and immediately cursed herself when he began to stir.
His hair flowed over his pillow and his lips slightly parted into a small smile. Dear God! She could just sit here and watch him sleep forever. He was perfect, the finest male specimen she'd ever laid eyes on.
His voice snapped her out of her little fantasy.
"Brielle, je t'aime. Veuillez ne pas me laisser."
She froze; watched him for a minute and realized he was talking in his sleep. Dreaming perhaps?
"Je vous laissera jamais coconut," she whispered. "I will never leave you."
Enough was enough. She had to get this over with. Brie gently laid down beside him, slowly inching her way closer until she was snuggled up beside him and put her head down on his arm and her hand on top of his own that graced the top of that beautifully sculpted abdomen.
He inhaled shaprly, like he was startled and opened his eyes. Looking up at him were the gorgeous blue eyes he had memorized and the lips he longed to kiss once again.
"I must be dreaming," he whispered in that gruff morning voice you get the first time you speak for the day. "Or I've died and gone to heaven and this is what an angel looks like."
She smiled up at him.
"Pretty cheesy Letang. You don't think that line's gonna work on me do you?"
"I certainly hope so."
"Well, you're lucky I'm in the mood for cheesy this morning."
"Brie I..."
"Shhhh," she said placing her finger over his lips. She stretched her neck up and he bent his neck down stopping just before their lips met.
"I love you Brielle," he whispered.
"I should have never doubted you," she whispered back before fusing their lips together in an explosive chemical reaction that had them both seeing stars.
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him telling her he never wanted to let her go. She explored the ridges and valleys his well toned muscles made across his back; her touch sending the most amazing chill through his naturally warm body. His strong hands wound their way through her chestnut locks and she returned the gesture, having waited so many years to have a reason to caress his soft, midnight mane.
Their kiss was explosive; passionate; desperate. Her entire body was electrified and she could feel the heat developing in her lower abdomen. She could also feel the heat and excitement developing between his legs.
"Kristopher," she mummbled breathlessly pulling away so she could look in his eyes.
"Mmm hmm?"
"I am so sorry; for everything. I should have never doubted you. I love you so much."
"I waited so long to hear those words Brie. And when you finally said them; I was devestated that I had to hurt you the way I did. It almost killed me to do it Brie, but I had too."
"I know," she replied caressing the side of his face. "I understand why you did it. Thank you Kristopher. Thank you for loving me enough to let me go; for forcing me to live my life."
"There's nothing I wouldn't do for you Brielle; to make you happy."
Her sparkling smile lit up her face at his words; and she knew they were true.
"Then kiss me again," she grinned.
He was positive he had died and gone to heaven because every dream he'd ever had of her was coming true. He wanted her to know how much he loved her; he wanted her to be able to feel it when he touched her.
He tangled his fingers in her long locks and lowered his mouth onto hers; slowly and gently. He wanted her so badly but he would not let his urges get the best of him. This was about him and her and the love the two of them had shared for a lifetime.
His lips massaged hers delicately yet had a firmness behind them. When her lips parted and he slipped his tongue in her mouth she couldn't stifle her moan. Years of pent up feelings were threatening to escape from every orfus of their bodies; their bodies that clung together, holding each other as if it was their only salvation.
As his lips moved from her mouth down her jaw and to her neck she moaned out her pleasure. Tingling sensations coursed through her entire body and she was sure she would explode if she didn't have him right now.
She pulled away from him and stood beside the bed; standing over his muscular frame.
"What's wrong," he asked; concern oozing from his voice.
"Nothing," she smiles. "Everything is perfect."
"Then why are you over there," he asked swinging his legs around so he could sit in front of her.
She was trembling and hoped he wouldn't notice. She smiled down at him and without saying a word, lifted her t-shirt over hear head revealing a pale pink lace bra that looked devestating against her tanned skin.
His breath caught in his throat and he could not stifle the groan that escaped his mouth.
"My God you're beautiful Brie," he whispered pulling her towards him as he placed gentle kisses all over her abdomen.
Her turn to moan. He was killing her.
He kissed his way up her body making a brief stop at each of her breasts; kissing them gently and nipping at her taught nipples through the material of her bra. He moved further north across her chest and up to her neck until he was standing in front of her looking in her eyes. His mouth engulfed hers once again and she wrapped her arms around his neck and twisted her fingers through his luscious hair.
This time he stopped and pulled away leaving her panting for more. When she saw the devilish look in his eyes she had no doubt there was more to come. His strong hands undid the button of her jeans and the motion of him sliding his hands in the waistband undid the zipper, allowing his lips to begin the descent down her body as his hands guided her pants down her long, tanned legs until the were in a heap at her feet. She held on to his strong, broad shoulders as she pulled her feet out and he discarded her clothing by tossing them across the room.
He was on his knees in front of her and kissed her belly just above the waist of her panties.
"Mmmm you match," he growled.
She just smiled; unable to find her voice. She had imagined this moment thousands of times in her mind, but real life was far better that any of her fantasies had been.
He stood in front of her and kissed her full, pink lips again before picking her up and gently laying her down on his bed.
He stood towering over her, drinking in the image of her nearly naked body laying before him. He could have orgasmed just standing there looking at her, and it took every ounce of his self control not to ravage her body right that second.
As her big blue eyes stared up at him lovingly, he stripped himself of the shorts he was wearing and stood before her in nothing but extremely well fitted black boxer briefs.
Brie was afraid to move her eyes away from his gaze, but her desire got the best of her and she had to take in the full view that was being offered to her.
She bit her bottom lip and slowly let her eyes move down his body; ughh that body! It looked like it had been carved out of milk chocolate; meticulous attention being paid to every well defined muscle.
She felt the heat rise between her legs once more an her wetness was almost becoming unbearable.
"Kristopher, you are absolutely exquisite," she barely squeaked out.
"And you are the most beautiful creature I have ever had the priviledge of laying eyes on."
She gave him a smile that melted his heart and he laid down beside her on the bed. She turned so she was facing him and instinctually caressed his leg with hers, causing him to let out a low moan that let her know he liked what she was doing.
His hands gently caressed from her leg up her torso to her arms. Her hands explored every crevace of his perfectly toned body. He nuzzled his face into her neck and moaned out his pleasure. When his lips began the assault on her neck she reciprocated. He took the bottom of her earlobe between his teeth and quietly whispered in her ear, "I've been waiting for you for so long Brielle. I want you so damn badly it hurts."
She kissed him sweetly on the lips before offering her reply.
"I've loved you my entire life Kristopher. I have never loved anyone but you and I will never love anyone but you. I want to give myself to you completely Kris; you and only you."
He realized the magnitude of her words and was privately thanking God for giving him the strength to abstain so he would be able to give her the same gift.
"I've never...I've never wanted to be with anyone but you Brielle. I thought if I ever got the chance to be with you..." he stopped and tried to hold back his emotions but it was no use. His love for her was so intense and the fact that every wish he'd ever had was about to come true, was too much for him to hold back. Tears escaped his dark eyes.
Brie now had tears of her own and as she wiped his away, he did the same for her.
"This is everything I've ever dreamed of Brie," he whispered against her mouth.
"This is more than I ever dreamed off," she replied. "I need you Kristopher. I need to be with you; to feel you inside me. We've waited too long already, I can't wait anymore."
Arms wrapped around each other, legs twisted together and mouths came together to form one. They each knew the truth now, and as Kris made love to Brie for the first time, they both knew that this was the start of their forever.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Chapter 13
His kiss sent jolts of electricity through her body exactly the way it had a year ago. Brie instantly melted into his broad chest and soft lips. She didn't ever want this to end, but her mind was racing a million miles an hour.
'Was this really happening?' "Did he just say he loved me too?''Always have?'
She struggled to pull away from him but finally broke free of his embrace and looked into those dark pools of chocolate.
"What did you just say?" she asked slowly.
He smirked at the look of confusion on her face.
"I said I love you too Brielle."
He waited for her response.
He'd been waiting a year for the opportunity to say those three words to her. It had crushed him to have to break her heart the way he did, but he knew he had no choice. She was just crazy enough to throw her dreams away to be with him and he couldn't let her do that. Shattering her heart had made his first year of juniors even tougher than it needed to be. He had made a few close friends with guys on the team, but as far as a social life went, he stayed away from it. He avoided parties and going out with the guys and he avoided the 'girls' that hung around the arena looking to pick up a piece of ass. He attended everything that was mandatory for the team and his personal appearances that he had to do; other than that, he preferred to stay at home with his billet family. They were an older couple who's two sons had played hockey their entire lives. The boys; Nathan and Jordan, were both playing in university now; one at Michigan and the other at Carleton. The Kelly's had made the season bearable. Mrs. Kelly knew everything there was to know about Brie. She had spent many nights listening to Kris talk about her, their life together, and how much it had broke him to leave her behind. She reassured Kris that he had done the right thing by not letting her throw her life away to follow him. Some days it helped; most days it didn't. But right here, right now, he had the opportunity to fix it.
"I don't...get it."
"What's there to get Brie? You love me and I love you."
"Yeah, you said that already."
"Brie, I've waited a year to say those words to you. Can we not over think this right now and just celebrate the fact that we love each other and it's finally out in the open?" he questioned as he leaned in to kiss her again.
Brie hesitated and pulled back for a moment. She was so confused and needed to talk about this and over think it. Her life had been miserable for the last year and now all of a sudden he loves her back? But looking in his eyes melted her heart and she gave in.
The moment their lips met sparks flew once again. His arms snaked around her waist and up into her hair. She melted into his arms and grabbed onto the back of his t-shirt. His lips were gentle and moved slowly at first. As he ran his tongue over her lips she let out a low moan and spread her lips allowing him to enter. Their tongues tangoed together perfectly and she was lost. Lost in the moment, lost in the fantasies she had about this happening and the last year completely melted away.
"Ahh hem. Sorry, looks like I'm interrupting something."
The voice jolted Brie back into reality and she jumped back away from Kristopher.
"Yes you are so go away," Kris growled. He moved closer to Brie and wrapped his arm around her waist.
"Rob, what are you doing here?" Brie asked.
"Well, I thought I'd come by and see if I could take you to dinner tonight."
"She's busy," Kris stated to both Brie and Rob's surprise.
"Kris, please," Brie said shooting him a glare.
"What's going on Brie? You told me the other night that you two hadn't talked in a year. I'm a little confused here."
"So am I Rob, trust me. This just kind of happened."
"What...exactly?"
"Well, I'm not sure," she said looking back and forth between the two. "I was sitting on the swing and the next thing I knew..."
"I told her something I should have told her a year ago," Kris interjected.
There was a long silence between the three as they all kind of just looked at each other.
"Ohhhhhhhhh I get it," Rob chuckled. "Does this have anything to do with our little run in this morning Letang?"
"What run in this morning?" Brie asked searching both their eyes for answers.
"Oh you didn't tell her Kris? Well then let me do the honours. Kris and I ran into each other at the gym this morning didn't we Kris?"
Kris just glared at him.
"Yeah. You see we got to talking and seems good old Kris here wasn't very happy to hear about our date the other night."
Brie looked at Kris, searching his face for answers but got none.
Rob continued.
"Kris here was so pissed off that you went out with me that he he picked me up by the throat the told me if I didn't stay away from you he kill me, isn't that right Kris?"
"Kristopher! Is that true?" Brie asked with a hint of disgust in her voice.
"That's not exactly how it happened Brie. Let's just go inside and talk about everything privately," he said grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the house.
"Why so you can twist the truth and make her believe your lies."
"Okay, just stop!" Brie yelled. "What the hell is going on here?"
"I'll tell you want going on. Kris can't stand the fact that we went out and now he's doing everything he can to sabotage us."
"That's a fucking lie and you know it Taylor! Brie, I love you. Let's just go inside..."
"Love her?!" Rob screeched. "Are you serious?"
"Brie, don't pay any attention to him. Let's go in the house and I'll explain everything."
Brie sat down on her swing; the place that had given her so much comfort and clarity over the years. If there ever was a time she needed clarity, it was now.
"Brie," Rob started as he knelt down in front of her and rested his hands on her legs.
Kris' blood started to boil.
"You told me that you told Kris that you were in love with him and he looked you in the eyes and said he didn't feel the same way. He broke your heart Brie. Do you think it's a coincidence that he found out we were dating and now all of a sudden he loves you? He hates me Brie. This is just his way of trying to keep you away from me." Rob's words were tender and soft and he gently rubbed her leg as he spoke the words he knew would break her heart all over again.
Tears began to roll down down her rosy cheeks. Her head was spinning and she felt like she was going to throw up. Could this seriously be happening? She had waited for this day for they last year, hell she waited for this day her whole life and now it was all crashing down around her.
She wiped the tears from her cheeks and looked Kristopher in the eyes. If he lied, she'd be able to tell.
"Is this true Kristopher?"
"No! Some of it, like yes I do hate him,and it makes me sick to my stomach to think that you might actually date this creep but that's not why I told you I love you. I have always loved you Brie, I just couldn't tell you before."
"Why not?"
"Yeah Kris, enlighten us," Rob piped up.
"Why don't you fuck off and leave! This is between me and Brie."
"Actually, it involves all three of us."
"Would you two just stop, you're making my head hurt! Why couldn't you tell me before Kris? Why now?"
"Can we talk about this inside...alone?"
"No, we can talk about it right here, right now."
"Brie, I love you; I've always loved you. When you told me you were in love with me it totally threw me for a loop. And then you started talking about not going to school and coming with me and I couldn't let you do that. I couldn't let you throw your life away to follow me. I had to let you go; it broke my heart Brie but I had to do it...for you," he said quietly taking her hands in his.
"Kristopher, I don't know what to say," she said barely above a whisper.
"I do...how about bullshit! That's a touching story Letang, but Brie's a smart girl. Do you really think she's going to buy that bs? Come on Brie. He had the chance to tell you he loved you a year ago and he blew it. Now that you're finally moving on he'll say whatever it takes to reel you back in. Open your eyes. If he really loved you as much as he says he does, he never would have let you go; he never would have broken your heart."
"Brie, that's not true. I did it to protect you, I..."
"Stop! I can't listen to anymore, my head is spinning and I don't know what to believe," she said getting up and walking towards the house. "I need time to process this."
"Brie wait," they both said following behind her.
"Seriously, you both need to go. Just leave me alone. If and when I'm ready to talk to either of you, I'll let you know."
With that she disappeared into the house leaving both men wondering when they'd see her again.
'Was this really happening?' "Did he just say he loved me too?''Always have?'
She struggled to pull away from him but finally broke free of his embrace and looked into those dark pools of chocolate.
"What did you just say?" she asked slowly.
He smirked at the look of confusion on her face.
"I said I love you too Brielle."
He waited for her response.
He'd been waiting a year for the opportunity to say those three words to her. It had crushed him to have to break her heart the way he did, but he knew he had no choice. She was just crazy enough to throw her dreams away to be with him and he couldn't let her do that. Shattering her heart had made his first year of juniors even tougher than it needed to be. He had made a few close friends with guys on the team, but as far as a social life went, he stayed away from it. He avoided parties and going out with the guys and he avoided the 'girls' that hung around the arena looking to pick up a piece of ass. He attended everything that was mandatory for the team and his personal appearances that he had to do; other than that, he preferred to stay at home with his billet family. They were an older couple who's two sons had played hockey their entire lives. The boys; Nathan and Jordan, were both playing in university now; one at Michigan and the other at Carleton. The Kelly's had made the season bearable. Mrs. Kelly knew everything there was to know about Brie. She had spent many nights listening to Kris talk about her, their life together, and how much it had broke him to leave her behind. She reassured Kris that he had done the right thing by not letting her throw her life away to follow him. Some days it helped; most days it didn't. But right here, right now, he had the opportunity to fix it.
"I don't...get it."
"What's there to get Brie? You love me and I love you."
"Yeah, you said that already."
"Brie, I've waited a year to say those words to you. Can we not over think this right now and just celebrate the fact that we love each other and it's finally out in the open?" he questioned as he leaned in to kiss her again.
Brie hesitated and pulled back for a moment. She was so confused and needed to talk about this and over think it. Her life had been miserable for the last year and now all of a sudden he loves her back? But looking in his eyes melted her heart and she gave in.
The moment their lips met sparks flew once again. His arms snaked around her waist and up into her hair. She melted into his arms and grabbed onto the back of his t-shirt. His lips were gentle and moved slowly at first. As he ran his tongue over her lips she let out a low moan and spread her lips allowing him to enter. Their tongues tangoed together perfectly and she was lost. Lost in the moment, lost in the fantasies she had about this happening and the last year completely melted away.
"Ahh hem. Sorry, looks like I'm interrupting something."
The voice jolted Brie back into reality and she jumped back away from Kristopher.
"Yes you are so go away," Kris growled. He moved closer to Brie and wrapped his arm around her waist.
"Rob, what are you doing here?" Brie asked.
"Well, I thought I'd come by and see if I could take you to dinner tonight."
"She's busy," Kris stated to both Brie and Rob's surprise.
"Kris, please," Brie said shooting him a glare.
"What's going on Brie? You told me the other night that you two hadn't talked in a year. I'm a little confused here."
"So am I Rob, trust me. This just kind of happened."
"What...exactly?"
"Well, I'm not sure," she said looking back and forth between the two. "I was sitting on the swing and the next thing I knew..."
"I told her something I should have told her a year ago," Kris interjected.
There was a long silence between the three as they all kind of just looked at each other.
"Ohhhhhhhhh I get it," Rob chuckled. "Does this have anything to do with our little run in this morning Letang?"
"What run in this morning?" Brie asked searching both their eyes for answers.
"Oh you didn't tell her Kris? Well then let me do the honours. Kris and I ran into each other at the gym this morning didn't we Kris?"
Kris just glared at him.
"Yeah. You see we got to talking and seems good old Kris here wasn't very happy to hear about our date the other night."
Brie looked at Kris, searching his face for answers but got none.
Rob continued.
"Kris here was so pissed off that you went out with me that he he picked me up by the throat the told me if I didn't stay away from you he kill me, isn't that right Kris?"
"Kristopher! Is that true?" Brie asked with a hint of disgust in her voice.
"That's not exactly how it happened Brie. Let's just go inside and talk about everything privately," he said grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the house.
"Why so you can twist the truth and make her believe your lies."
"Okay, just stop!" Brie yelled. "What the hell is going on here?"
"I'll tell you want going on. Kris can't stand the fact that we went out and now he's doing everything he can to sabotage us."
"That's a fucking lie and you know it Taylor! Brie, I love you. Let's just go inside..."
"Love her?!" Rob screeched. "Are you serious?"
"Brie, don't pay any attention to him. Let's go in the house and I'll explain everything."
Brie sat down on her swing; the place that had given her so much comfort and clarity over the years. If there ever was a time she needed clarity, it was now.
"Brie," Rob started as he knelt down in front of her and rested his hands on her legs.
Kris' blood started to boil.
"You told me that you told Kris that you were in love with him and he looked you in the eyes and said he didn't feel the same way. He broke your heart Brie. Do you think it's a coincidence that he found out we were dating and now all of a sudden he loves you? He hates me Brie. This is just his way of trying to keep you away from me." Rob's words were tender and soft and he gently rubbed her leg as he spoke the words he knew would break her heart all over again.
Tears began to roll down down her rosy cheeks. Her head was spinning and she felt like she was going to throw up. Could this seriously be happening? She had waited for this day for they last year, hell she waited for this day her whole life and now it was all crashing down around her.
She wiped the tears from her cheeks and looked Kristopher in the eyes. If he lied, she'd be able to tell.
"Is this true Kristopher?"
"No! Some of it, like yes I do hate him,and it makes me sick to my stomach to think that you might actually date this creep but that's not why I told you I love you. I have always loved you Brie, I just couldn't tell you before."
"Why not?"
"Yeah Kris, enlighten us," Rob piped up.
"Why don't you fuck off and leave! This is between me and Brie."
"Actually, it involves all three of us."
"Would you two just stop, you're making my head hurt! Why couldn't you tell me before Kris? Why now?"
"Can we talk about this inside...alone?"
"No, we can talk about it right here, right now."
"Brie, I love you; I've always loved you. When you told me you were in love with me it totally threw me for a loop. And then you started talking about not going to school and coming with me and I couldn't let you do that. I couldn't let you throw your life away to follow me. I had to let you go; it broke my heart Brie but I had to do it...for you," he said quietly taking her hands in his.
"Kristopher, I don't know what to say," she said barely above a whisper.
"I do...how about bullshit! That's a touching story Letang, but Brie's a smart girl. Do you really think she's going to buy that bs? Come on Brie. He had the chance to tell you he loved you a year ago and he blew it. Now that you're finally moving on he'll say whatever it takes to reel you back in. Open your eyes. If he really loved you as much as he says he does, he never would have let you go; he never would have broken your heart."
"Brie, that's not true. I did it to protect you, I..."
"Stop! I can't listen to anymore, my head is spinning and I don't know what to believe," she said getting up and walking towards the house. "I need time to process this."
"Brie wait," they both said following behind her.
"Seriously, you both need to go. Just leave me alone. If and when I'm ready to talk to either of you, I'll let you know."
With that she disappeared into the house leaving both men wondering when they'd see her again.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
If you read my other story you know what's been going on in my life lately so I won't bore you with the details again. If you don't, I'll just say that writing has unfortunately taken a back burner to life. However, I will be writing again soon. I hope to have this story updated by the end of the week at the latest.
Thank you so much to those of you who faithfully follow this story and take the time to post your comments; I love them and they really give me the incentive to keep writing. So stick with me and hopefully I'll have an update soon...and hopefully it will be worth the wait!
Cheers!
~B~
Thank you so much to those of you who faithfully follow this story and take the time to post your comments; I love them and they really give me the incentive to keep writing. So stick with me and hopefully I'll have an update soon...and hopefully it will be worth the wait!
Cheers!
~B~
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Chapter 12
'Don't open your eyes...don't open your eyes' she kept telling herself. Her whole body was shaking and she couldn't make herself speak. All she could do was sit up and lift her feet. The strong hands she had memorized over the years touched her back and the tears silently rolled down her cheeks.
Neither of them spoke; just pushed and swung in awkward yet comfortable silence.
He had no idea how long he'd been pushing her on that swing and frankly, he didn't care. She was here with him; that's all that mattered. When she started to hum that ridiculous tune she used to hum when she was 'in her happy place' as she described it, he couldn't help but laugh out loud.
Brie dragged her feet on the ground to stop her swinging motion.
"What are you laughing at?" she asked without turning around.
There it was. The first words she spoke to him in a year.
"You Brielle. You still hum that silly tune," he replied softly. "I guess some things never change."
"And sometimes, everything changes," she replied.
"Brie..."
"Kristopher don't. Just don't," Brie interrupted trying desperately to hide the quiver in her voice.
Inside, an internal battle raged between her head and her heart. Her heart was begging her to turn around and wrap her arms around him and never let go. Her head was telling her not to. Her head knew that if she looked at him it would be game over. All the feelings would come rushing back and it would only take one look into his dark chocolate eyes for her to melt into a puddle. Her head also knew that if she looked at him with all the love in her heart only to see the same rejection she had seen a year ago, that she wouldn't survive it. But her heart...
"Brie?" he said gingerly as he place his hand on her arm.
'Do it...turn around...NO! Don't...Do it...NO!...Deep breath girl...
"Kristopher," she said slowly as she turned around.
There. She did it. She was facing him; the love of her life. Her breath caught in her throat.
They stared at each other for an eternity; or so it felt like. Who was going to make the first move?
"Brielle," he said softly as he dared to take her hands in his. Tears rolled down her cheeks and began to feverishly shake her head no. Kris was beginning to panic. He had waited a year for this moment and it was about to blow up in his face. He was loosing her...again. He tightened his grip on her hands. He started to say her name again but was stopped when her body was suddenly against his.
Her heart won out.
She wrapped her arms around Kris' neck; twisting her fingers in his now almost shoulder length hair and waited.
His arms snaked tightly around her waist and across her mid-back as he buried his face in her chestnut curls inhaling the smell of sweet coconut that he had missed so much.
And there they stood; holding each other. Neither of them willing to let go; both afraid of what was to come if they did.
Reluctantly they separated, but only enough so they could run their hands over each other; as if to make sure each other was real.
"Brie, I have something i need to say to you," he started.
"No. Please don't apologize. I should be the one to apologize to you."
"No, Brie, I want to..."
"Kris, please let me do this. I'm sorry. I am so, so, so, so sorry. I treated you so badly. Last summer was such a mess. I didn't know how to deal with leaving for school and you going away and I panicked. I should have never done what I did at Michelle's and I should have never tried to blame you for everything. It was me, it was all my fault. And I am so so sorry for just springing that whole I'm in love with you thing so suddenly. It wasn't fair. I had time to come to terms with it, but expected you to just...well...feel the same way. I shut you out when you didn't because I was hurt. God Kris, it hurt so damn bad I wanted to die just so I would stop hurting. I thought if you were out of my life I'd be able to get over you and move on with my life; but I was wrong; so wrong. I can't move on with my life because you are my life; you always have been and you always will be. I can't exist without you. I went to every one of your games last season you know. I couldn't bear to miss you living your dream."
"Are you serious? You were there?"
"Every single game."
"Why didn't you tell me? Or come find me? Or..."
"I couldn't. I was in so much pain Kris. I thought if I watched you it would make me feel better; like I was still part of it, but it didn't. It made me feel worse. It reminded me that I wasn't part of it; I wasn't part of your life anymore and it was all my fault because I pushed you away."
"I don't know what to say Brie. I'm stunned here. You were there, at every game? I know you won't believe this, but I swear to God I could feel you. I thought it was my imagination playing tricks on me because I wanted you there so badly."
"I was."
"I can't believe this."
"Kristopher," she began, "You were my best friend my whole life. I never wanted to find out what it was like not to have you in my life, but I have. I never meant to fall in love with you, I swear Kris; but I did. And I have to be honest with you; I still am. Now before you say anything let me finish."
"No, Brie let me say..."
"Please Kris, let me get this out because if I don't say it now I never will."
"Okay."
"I am still in love with you; I probably always will be. I know you don't feel the same way and that's okay. I'm not telling you this to pressure you or make you feel bad; I'm not. I get it. You can't spend your whole life feeling one way about someone and then change those feelings. I don't expect you to feel the same way. I'm dealing with the fact that I lost the love of my life, but what this past year has taught me is that I can't deal with losing my best friend. I need you Kristopher; I need my best friend. I know it will be hard for the both of us trying to navigate our relationship knowing that there are feelings there, but I want to try. I really want you to try too. I am nothing without you in my life coconut. I am begging you to forgive me and let me have my best friend back. Can we forget that I told you I'm in love with you and just..."
"Oh my god Brielle, just stop!" He had to put an end to this. He couldn't let it go on any longer.
"No Brie, I'm sorry, but I can't forget. And I can't forgive you."
The tears came and she nodded her head in agreement. "I understand," she managed to get out. "I'm sorry," she cried as she turned to run away.
His hand grabbed her arm, stopping her from going anywhere.
"I can't forget it because it's all I think about," he said.
'What did he just say?'
"And I can't forgive you because there's nothing to forgive."
"I don't understand Kristopher."
"I'm in love with you too Brielle LaRoche. I always have been." He smiled at the look of confusion on her face and before she had the chance to say anything his lips met hers.
Neither of them spoke; just pushed and swung in awkward yet comfortable silence.
He had no idea how long he'd been pushing her on that swing and frankly, he didn't care. She was here with him; that's all that mattered. When she started to hum that ridiculous tune she used to hum when she was 'in her happy place' as she described it, he couldn't help but laugh out loud.
Brie dragged her feet on the ground to stop her swinging motion.
"What are you laughing at?" she asked without turning around.
There it was. The first words she spoke to him in a year.
"You Brielle. You still hum that silly tune," he replied softly. "I guess some things never change."
"And sometimes, everything changes," she replied.
"Brie..."
"Kristopher don't. Just don't," Brie interrupted trying desperately to hide the quiver in her voice.
Inside, an internal battle raged between her head and her heart. Her heart was begging her to turn around and wrap her arms around him and never let go. Her head was telling her not to. Her head knew that if she looked at him it would be game over. All the feelings would come rushing back and it would only take one look into his dark chocolate eyes for her to melt into a puddle. Her head also knew that if she looked at him with all the love in her heart only to see the same rejection she had seen a year ago, that she wouldn't survive it. But her heart...
"Brie?" he said gingerly as he place his hand on her arm.
'Do it...turn around...NO! Don't...Do it...NO!...Deep breath girl...
"Kristopher," she said slowly as she turned around.
There. She did it. She was facing him; the love of her life. Her breath caught in her throat.
They stared at each other for an eternity; or so it felt like. Who was going to make the first move?
"Brielle," he said softly as he dared to take her hands in his. Tears rolled down her cheeks and began to feverishly shake her head no. Kris was beginning to panic. He had waited a year for this moment and it was about to blow up in his face. He was loosing her...again. He tightened his grip on her hands. He started to say her name again but was stopped when her body was suddenly against his.
Her heart won out.
She wrapped her arms around Kris' neck; twisting her fingers in his now almost shoulder length hair and waited.
His arms snaked tightly around her waist and across her mid-back as he buried his face in her chestnut curls inhaling the smell of sweet coconut that he had missed so much.
And there they stood; holding each other. Neither of them willing to let go; both afraid of what was to come if they did.
Reluctantly they separated, but only enough so they could run their hands over each other; as if to make sure each other was real.
"Brie, I have something i need to say to you," he started.
"No. Please don't apologize. I should be the one to apologize to you."
"No, Brie, I want to..."
"Kris, please let me do this. I'm sorry. I am so, so, so, so sorry. I treated you so badly. Last summer was such a mess. I didn't know how to deal with leaving for school and you going away and I panicked. I should have never done what I did at Michelle's and I should have never tried to blame you for everything. It was me, it was all my fault. And I am so so sorry for just springing that whole I'm in love with you thing so suddenly. It wasn't fair. I had time to come to terms with it, but expected you to just...well...feel the same way. I shut you out when you didn't because I was hurt. God Kris, it hurt so damn bad I wanted to die just so I would stop hurting. I thought if you were out of my life I'd be able to get over you and move on with my life; but I was wrong; so wrong. I can't move on with my life because you are my life; you always have been and you always will be. I can't exist without you. I went to every one of your games last season you know. I couldn't bear to miss you living your dream."
"Are you serious? You were there?"
"Every single game."
"Why didn't you tell me? Or come find me? Or..."
"I couldn't. I was in so much pain Kris. I thought if I watched you it would make me feel better; like I was still part of it, but it didn't. It made me feel worse. It reminded me that I wasn't part of it; I wasn't part of your life anymore and it was all my fault because I pushed you away."
"I don't know what to say Brie. I'm stunned here. You were there, at every game? I know you won't believe this, but I swear to God I could feel you. I thought it was my imagination playing tricks on me because I wanted you there so badly."
"I was."
"I can't believe this."
"Kristopher," she began, "You were my best friend my whole life. I never wanted to find out what it was like not to have you in my life, but I have. I never meant to fall in love with you, I swear Kris; but I did. And I have to be honest with you; I still am. Now before you say anything let me finish."
"No, Brie let me say..."
"Please Kris, let me get this out because if I don't say it now I never will."
"Okay."
"I am still in love with you; I probably always will be. I know you don't feel the same way and that's okay. I'm not telling you this to pressure you or make you feel bad; I'm not. I get it. You can't spend your whole life feeling one way about someone and then change those feelings. I don't expect you to feel the same way. I'm dealing with the fact that I lost the love of my life, but what this past year has taught me is that I can't deal with losing my best friend. I need you Kristopher; I need my best friend. I know it will be hard for the both of us trying to navigate our relationship knowing that there are feelings there, but I want to try. I really want you to try too. I am nothing without you in my life coconut. I am begging you to forgive me and let me have my best friend back. Can we forget that I told you I'm in love with you and just..."
"Oh my god Brielle, just stop!" He had to put an end to this. He couldn't let it go on any longer.
"No Brie, I'm sorry, but I can't forget. And I can't forgive you."
The tears came and she nodded her head in agreement. "I understand," she managed to get out. "I'm sorry," she cried as she turned to run away.
His hand grabbed her arm, stopping her from going anywhere.
"I can't forget it because it's all I think about," he said.
'What did he just say?'
"And I can't forgive you because there's nothing to forgive."
"I don't understand Kristopher."
"I'm in love with you too Brielle LaRoche. I always have been." He smiled at the look of confusion on her face and before she had the chance to say anything his lips met hers.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Chapter 11
He hadn't slept at all. Every time he closed his eyes he saw Rob kissing her and it made him sick to his stomach.
How could she? After everything that happened, how could she?
He got out of bed still shaking his head. Obviously she was more forgiving than he was. If she forgave Rob...maybe...she could forgive him?
UGH! He was sick of thinking about this. He got up, threw on some clothes and headed for the rink.
He shot pucks for an hour and a half. He skated so hard his lungs felt like they were going to explode out of his chest and he needed to throw up. After bowing to the porcelain gods, he changed and headed for the gym. Practice wasn't enough, he needed to punish himself more.
An hour later he could barely move. He'd had enough for the day. He went to the locker room and showered and threw on clean clothes. He grabbed his bag and headed for the door. Rounding the corner he plowed right into someone. Without looking up he said "Sorry man."
"No problem Kris."
He looked up to see the person he ran into was Rob Taylor. Kris cracked a half smile and continued on his way.
"Oh hey Letang, I owe you a pretty big thank you."
"For what," Kris asked turning around to face him.
"For breaking Brie's heart man. You shooting her down opened up the door for me so...thanks. By the way, can I just say what the hell were you thinking dude? She tells you she loves you and you fucking shoot her down? What is wrong with you?"
"How do you know that?" Kris asked trying to hide the hurt in his voice.
"She told me all about it on our date last night."
As if he wasn't hurt enough, the news of this date and the fact that Brie would tell the guy Kris hated most about their personal business was crushing.
"I don't need to explain myself to you. You wouldn't understand it even if I did. You have NO idea what it means to be selfless," Kris said, turning to leave.
"Yeah, well she's a great kisser! I can't wait to find out what else she's good at!"
Kris saw red! He dropped his bag and his hand was around Rob's throat holding him against the lockers before either of them realized what was happening.
"If you touch her; if you so much as lay a finger on her I will kill you with my bare hands," Kris growled tightening his grip before finally letting him go. Rob dropped to the ground gasping for air as Kris left the locker room.
**************************************************************************
Brie sat on her swing in the old oak tree just staring off into space. She rested her head against the strong rope that had supported her for so many years. It was the first time she'd been back on the swing since last summer.
"So many memories," she whispered to no one in particular. "So many dreams."
The swing and the old tree were the keepers of her secrets. Those leaves held every detail of her life in confidence. She had spent countless hours telling secrets and planning her future beneath those strong branches. A future that no matter what, always had Kristopher in it. Brie had always wanted to work with children; no, for children. There were so many kids in the world that needed someone to stand up for them; be the voice that they didn't have. That's what she was planning on doing with her degree in social work. Help the kids that really needed to be helped. Kris always wanted to play hockey of course. They spent countless hours on that swing planning how their future was going to play out.
----flashback------
"No matter where I play, you can come too. It doesn't matter what city I'm in; there will always be kids that need your help."
"I want to be some place warm; not like here. Florida? California? Texas?"
"Brie I want to win the cup, not get a sun tan! Those places don't have winning hockey teams. What if I end up playing for the Habs? We could stay right here."
"Great," Brie grumbled. "You know I want out of here Kris. We've been here our whole lives and it's the same shit all the time. Everybody knows your business. I want to go some place new, where no one knows us. Start a whole new life."
"I don't think there's anything wrong with this life."
"That's because you don't care about anything as long as you're playing hockey."
"That's not true. I care about lots of things."
"Like what?"
"Well...you. I want you to be happy. And I want you to be with me wherever I am so on draft day when Montreal drafts me I'll say "Sorry guys but my best friend doesn't want to live here anymore and since we're a package deal, can you just draft somebody else?' Would that work for you?"
"Asshole. Just shut up and give me a push!"
-----------end flashback-------------
Brie cracked a smile at the memory of that conversation. She could probably think of a million more that were similar.
'How the hell did I get to this point' she asked herself. 'Where did everything go so wrong?'
"You told him you loved him you fucking idiot! That's where it all went wrong," she said out loud.
Little did she know that it was more that the leaves that heard her
.
"I'm so stupid! I should have never told him! At least we would have still been friends. Now we're...nothing. I lost my best friend and the love of my life in one foul swoop! God I wish I could just take it back! I wish those words had never left my lips. I would still have Kristopher in my life instead of this gaping hole in my heart. I don't know what to do. I don't know how I get over him."
The tears began to flow freely now and she dug a hole in the dirt with the toe of her shoe.
"God, I'm so pathetic! It's been a year Brielle, you have to get a grip! Move on; he sure has. You don't think he's up in Val d'Or pining away for you do you? But how? How do I tell my heart to stop hurting? How do I fill the void he left? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO GET OVER HIM????"
She closed her eyes to try and stop the tears but it didn't work. Brie put her head back against the rope and used her toe to move the swing around in little circles. Maybe if she kept her eyes closed the last year would disappear.
She kept her eyes closed, hoping the movement of the swing would soothe her the way it always had; but this time it wasn't working. She was about to give up when she felt a sudden calm wash over her entire body. She couldn't explain it. She had no idea where it came from, but for the first time since leaving home she felt...calm...peaceful...at home. She felt warmth on her shoulders that she was sure she was imagining until a small jolt of electricity ran through her body. There was only one person's touch that could make her feel that way. His.
Was it possible? After all this time, could he be...?
'Don't do it' she told herself. 'Don't open your eyes. It will ruin everything!'
She didn't have to open her eyes to have her questions answered. Three words answered them for her...
"Need a push?"
How could she? After everything that happened, how could she?
He got out of bed still shaking his head. Obviously she was more forgiving than he was. If she forgave Rob...maybe...she could forgive him?
UGH! He was sick of thinking about this. He got up, threw on some clothes and headed for the rink.
He shot pucks for an hour and a half. He skated so hard his lungs felt like they were going to explode out of his chest and he needed to throw up. After bowing to the porcelain gods, he changed and headed for the gym. Practice wasn't enough, he needed to punish himself more.
An hour later he could barely move. He'd had enough for the day. He went to the locker room and showered and threw on clean clothes. He grabbed his bag and headed for the door. Rounding the corner he plowed right into someone. Without looking up he said "Sorry man."
"No problem Kris."
He looked up to see the person he ran into was Rob Taylor. Kris cracked a half smile and continued on his way.
"Oh hey Letang, I owe you a pretty big thank you."
"For what," Kris asked turning around to face him.
"For breaking Brie's heart man. You shooting her down opened up the door for me so...thanks. By the way, can I just say what the hell were you thinking dude? She tells you she loves you and you fucking shoot her down? What is wrong with you?"
"How do you know that?" Kris asked trying to hide the hurt in his voice.
"She told me all about it on our date last night."
As if he wasn't hurt enough, the news of this date and the fact that Brie would tell the guy Kris hated most about their personal business was crushing.
"I don't need to explain myself to you. You wouldn't understand it even if I did. You have NO idea what it means to be selfless," Kris said, turning to leave.
"Yeah, well she's a great kisser! I can't wait to find out what else she's good at!"
Kris saw red! He dropped his bag and his hand was around Rob's throat holding him against the lockers before either of them realized what was happening.
"If you touch her; if you so much as lay a finger on her I will kill you with my bare hands," Kris growled tightening his grip before finally letting him go. Rob dropped to the ground gasping for air as Kris left the locker room.
**************************************************************************
Brie sat on her swing in the old oak tree just staring off into space. She rested her head against the strong rope that had supported her for so many years. It was the first time she'd been back on the swing since last summer.
"So many memories," she whispered to no one in particular. "So many dreams."
The swing and the old tree were the keepers of her secrets. Those leaves held every detail of her life in confidence. She had spent countless hours telling secrets and planning her future beneath those strong branches. A future that no matter what, always had Kristopher in it. Brie had always wanted to work with children; no, for children. There were so many kids in the world that needed someone to stand up for them; be the voice that they didn't have. That's what she was planning on doing with her degree in social work. Help the kids that really needed to be helped. Kris always wanted to play hockey of course. They spent countless hours on that swing planning how their future was going to play out.
----flashback------
"No matter where I play, you can come too. It doesn't matter what city I'm in; there will always be kids that need your help."
"I want to be some place warm; not like here. Florida? California? Texas?"
"Brie I want to win the cup, not get a sun tan! Those places don't have winning hockey teams. What if I end up playing for the Habs? We could stay right here."
"Great," Brie grumbled. "You know I want out of here Kris. We've been here our whole lives and it's the same shit all the time. Everybody knows your business. I want to go some place new, where no one knows us. Start a whole new life."
"I don't think there's anything wrong with this life."
"That's because you don't care about anything as long as you're playing hockey."
"That's not true. I care about lots of things."
"Like what?"
"Well...you. I want you to be happy. And I want you to be with me wherever I am so on draft day when Montreal drafts me I'll say "Sorry guys but my best friend doesn't want to live here anymore and since we're a package deal, can you just draft somebody else?' Would that work for you?"
"Asshole. Just shut up and give me a push!"
-----------end flashback-------------
Brie cracked a smile at the memory of that conversation. She could probably think of a million more that were similar.
'How the hell did I get to this point' she asked herself. 'Where did everything go so wrong?'
"You told him you loved him you fucking idiot! That's where it all went wrong," she said out loud.
Little did she know that it was more that the leaves that heard her
.
"I'm so stupid! I should have never told him! At least we would have still been friends. Now we're...nothing. I lost my best friend and the love of my life in one foul swoop! God I wish I could just take it back! I wish those words had never left my lips. I would still have Kristopher in my life instead of this gaping hole in my heart. I don't know what to do. I don't know how I get over him."
The tears began to flow freely now and she dug a hole in the dirt with the toe of her shoe.
"God, I'm so pathetic! It's been a year Brielle, you have to get a grip! Move on; he sure has. You don't think he's up in Val d'Or pining away for you do you? But how? How do I tell my heart to stop hurting? How do I fill the void he left? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
CAN SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO GET OVER HIM????"
She closed her eyes to try and stop the tears but it didn't work. Brie put her head back against the rope and used her toe to move the swing around in little circles. Maybe if she kept her eyes closed the last year would disappear.
She kept her eyes closed, hoping the movement of the swing would soothe her the way it always had; but this time it wasn't working. She was about to give up when she felt a sudden calm wash over her entire body. She couldn't explain it. She had no idea where it came from, but for the first time since leaving home she felt...calm...peaceful...at home. She felt warmth on her shoulders that she was sure she was imagining until a small jolt of electricity ran through her body. There was only one person's touch that could make her feel that way. His.
Was it possible? After all this time, could he be...?
'Don't do it' she told herself. 'Don't open your eyes. It will ruin everything!'
She didn't have to open her eyes to have her questions answered. Three words answered them for her...
"Need a push?"
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Chapter 10
"I'm really glad you agreed to come out with me tonight Brie. I've been waiting a really long time for this," he said holding the door open to the small diner.
They took the last available table right in the front window.
"What do you mean?" she asked Rob.
"Oh come on Brie, it's pretty common knowledge that I've had the hots for you since your first day of high school. You can't tell me that you didn't know."
"Seriously?"
"Oh my god Brie! EVERYONE in the entire school knew how bad I had it for you."
"Well, I had no clue."
"Yeah, well that's because you were oblivious to anyone who wasn't Kris."
He regretted those words as soon as they left his mouth. He knew something had happened between them before she left for school but he, nor anyone else had any clue what it was. He was sure of one thing though, it had to be pretty bad to tear those two apart.
She began fidgeting with her napkin and the silverware on the table. He knew he had just made her uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry if I hit a sore spot," he said kindly.
"No, it's...it's okay."
He placed his hand over top of hers very delicately. He knew he was on thin ice.
"I'm sorry Brie. I didn't mean to bring up any bad feelings."
"Really Rob, it's okay. I just haven't talked about him in a long time."
"Well, maybe now's the time?" he asked hesitantly.
Brie looked at the guy sitting across from her for a moment. All the events of last summer came flooding back into her mind. It was because of him that her life had been turned upside down just a year ago; but right now, looking at him sitting across from her all that seemed to disappear and she felt like she could talk about it for the first time.
"I've never talked about it before. I don't know if I can."
"Well try starting at the beginning."
"You mean the beginning of the end?" she half laughed.
"Okay."
Brie took a deep breath. Could she do this? Could she re-live the most painful time of her life; a time that at times still felt like it was yesterday?
"Well...I guess it started the night of Michelle's party," she said with a hint of uneasiness in her voice. He knew exactly what night she was talking about. He looked down at his hands while she continued.
"...Anyways, it forced me to realize what I was really angry about. I realized, with help from my mother that the real problem was I was in love with him and scared about being without him for the first time."
Rob looked at her with disbelief in his eyes.
"I don't meant to interrupt, but are you kidding?"
"About what?"
"You seriously didn't know you were in love with him? That's hilarious."
"I certainly don't see the humour in it," she replied a little annoyed.
"Everyone knew you two were in love with each other Brie; everyone."
"Well I guess everyone was wrong then because Kris was not in love with me."
"Pardon!" Rob exclaimed almost spitting out the mouthful of coffee he just sipped.
"That's right. I confessed that I was in love with him before I left for school. Hell I even told him if he loved me too I'd go with him to Val d'Or. All he had to do was say the words."
"What happened?"
"He said he didn't love me that way. I kissed him, and he looked me in the eyes and told me he wasn't in love with me. That was the last time I spoke to him. I left for school a few days later and that was it."
"And you still haven't spoke to him?"
"Not a word."
"So you've moved on?"
"I don't know if I'd go that far. Every time I think it's getting easier I seem to take a step back."
"No offense Brie, but if they guy said he doesn't love you...what is there to hang on to?"
"I don't know...memories?"
"But that's all it is now; just memories. Maybe it's time to let go of the past and make some new memories."
Brie smiled. For the first time since he'd put it there she realized Rob was still holding her hand.
"When did you become so..."
"Smart?"
"Mature."
"I told you Brie; everyone changes. Everyone grows up sometime. I'm just sorry I hurt you before that happened."
"What are you talking about?"
"That night. At Michelle's. I couldn't say it back then, but I can now. I am so, so sorry for everything that happened that night Brie. I was stupid and arrogant and...just so damn excited that after four years you were finally giving me the time of day...and all the alcohol...it was a bad scene and I have regretted it every day since it happened."
"It's okay Rob. Like you said, it's time to let go of the past. Let's forget about it and move on."
He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it. Just as he did.....
A group of friends were walking by the diner.
"Hey, isn't that Brielle?" one of them said.
His head snapped up at the speed of light. "Where?"
"In the diner. And is that...Rob Taylor with her?"
He took three slow steps closer to the window. For a minute he thought his mind was playing tricks on him. It couldn't be. Could it?
Just then he brought her hand up and kissed the back of it. She smiled. He'd know that smile anywhere. His heart began to race and his stomach began to turn. What was she doing with him? After everything he did...he could feel his blood boiling, just as it had that night.
Rob got up and left the table. She was alone.
He watched as she checked her phone, flipped her chestnut curls over her shoulder and applied lip gloss to her lips. Mmm, those lips. He thought back to that day. The day those lips finally touched his. He held on to the memory of that feeling like it was his lifeline. It was the last time they were happy...and together. He couldn't believe she still ignited the same feelings inside him after all this time. He didn't know why it surprised him; of course those feelings were still there. She was the love of his life. The one. The one he let get away.
Standing on her front porch saying goodnight to Rob, she had an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. It almost felt like there were eyes on her.
"Brie I had a wonderful time tonight. I really hope we can do it again soon."
As she was about to answer, he kissed her and she froze. Dammit! Now it was ruined. It was no longer his lips that were the last to touch hers.
A few feet away, Kris was feeling sick to his stomach watching what was unfolding right before his eyes.
"Rob, I don't want to give you the wrong impression or lead you on in any way. I had a good time tonight, I really did, and I can't thank you enough for letting me spill my guts about everything, but I just don't know that I'm ready to let go of the past yet. I know it's stupid but I just can't let go."
"Well, I'm not not going to pretend that I'm not disappointed, but I understand. I know what it's like to be in love with someone who isn't in love with you and not being able to let it go."
"Don't...now you're making me feel bad."
"Sorry, I'm not trying to, I just...get it. I'm glad you gave me the chance to apologize."
"I am too. I'd still like to hang out with you...I just don't want any misunderstandings."
"Got it boss. I'll take what I can get."
"Thanks again for a great night," she said giving him a hug and a peck on the cheek. "I'll call you."
"Goodnight Brielle."
Kris watched as the door closed behind her. She'd moved on.
That night, it was his turn to cry himself to sleep.
They took the last available table right in the front window.
"What do you mean?" she asked Rob.
"Oh come on Brie, it's pretty common knowledge that I've had the hots for you since your first day of high school. You can't tell me that you didn't know."
"Seriously?"
"Oh my god Brie! EVERYONE in the entire school knew how bad I had it for you."
"Well, I had no clue."
"Yeah, well that's because you were oblivious to anyone who wasn't Kris."
He regretted those words as soon as they left his mouth. He knew something had happened between them before she left for school but he, nor anyone else had any clue what it was. He was sure of one thing though, it had to be pretty bad to tear those two apart.
She began fidgeting with her napkin and the silverware on the table. He knew he had just made her uncomfortable.
"I'm sorry if I hit a sore spot," he said kindly.
"No, it's...it's okay."
He placed his hand over top of hers very delicately. He knew he was on thin ice.
"I'm sorry Brie. I didn't mean to bring up any bad feelings."
"Really Rob, it's okay. I just haven't talked about him in a long time."
"Well, maybe now's the time?" he asked hesitantly.
Brie looked at the guy sitting across from her for a moment. All the events of last summer came flooding back into her mind. It was because of him that her life had been turned upside down just a year ago; but right now, looking at him sitting across from her all that seemed to disappear and she felt like she could talk about it for the first time.
"I've never talked about it before. I don't know if I can."
"Well try starting at the beginning."
"You mean the beginning of the end?" she half laughed.
"Okay."
Brie took a deep breath. Could she do this? Could she re-live the most painful time of her life; a time that at times still felt like it was yesterday?
"Well...I guess it started the night of Michelle's party," she said with a hint of uneasiness in her voice. He knew exactly what night she was talking about. He looked down at his hands while she continued.
"...Anyways, it forced me to realize what I was really angry about. I realized, with help from my mother that the real problem was I was in love with him and scared about being without him for the first time."
Rob looked at her with disbelief in his eyes.
"I don't meant to interrupt, but are you kidding?"
"About what?"
"You seriously didn't know you were in love with him? That's hilarious."
"I certainly don't see the humour in it," she replied a little annoyed.
"Everyone knew you two were in love with each other Brie; everyone."
"Well I guess everyone was wrong then because Kris was not in love with me."
"Pardon!" Rob exclaimed almost spitting out the mouthful of coffee he just sipped.
"That's right. I confessed that I was in love with him before I left for school. Hell I even told him if he loved me too I'd go with him to Val d'Or. All he had to do was say the words."
"What happened?"
"He said he didn't love me that way. I kissed him, and he looked me in the eyes and told me he wasn't in love with me. That was the last time I spoke to him. I left for school a few days later and that was it."
"And you still haven't spoke to him?"
"Not a word."
"So you've moved on?"
"I don't know if I'd go that far. Every time I think it's getting easier I seem to take a step back."
"No offense Brie, but if they guy said he doesn't love you...what is there to hang on to?"
"I don't know...memories?"
"But that's all it is now; just memories. Maybe it's time to let go of the past and make some new memories."
Brie smiled. For the first time since he'd put it there she realized Rob was still holding her hand.
"When did you become so..."
"Smart?"
"Mature."
"I told you Brie; everyone changes. Everyone grows up sometime. I'm just sorry I hurt you before that happened."
"What are you talking about?"
"That night. At Michelle's. I couldn't say it back then, but I can now. I am so, so sorry for everything that happened that night Brie. I was stupid and arrogant and...just so damn excited that after four years you were finally giving me the time of day...and all the alcohol...it was a bad scene and I have regretted it every day since it happened."
"It's okay Rob. Like you said, it's time to let go of the past. Let's forget about it and move on."
He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it. Just as he did.....
A group of friends were walking by the diner.
"Hey, isn't that Brielle?" one of them said.
His head snapped up at the speed of light. "Where?"
"In the diner. And is that...Rob Taylor with her?"
He took three slow steps closer to the window. For a minute he thought his mind was playing tricks on him. It couldn't be. Could it?
Just then he brought her hand up and kissed the back of it. She smiled. He'd know that smile anywhere. His heart began to race and his stomach began to turn. What was she doing with him? After everything he did...he could feel his blood boiling, just as it had that night.
Rob got up and left the table. She was alone.
He watched as she checked her phone, flipped her chestnut curls over her shoulder and applied lip gloss to her lips. Mmm, those lips. He thought back to that day. The day those lips finally touched his. He held on to the memory of that feeling like it was his lifeline. It was the last time they were happy...and together. He couldn't believe she still ignited the same feelings inside him after all this time. He didn't know why it surprised him; of course those feelings were still there. She was the love of his life. The one. The one he let get away.
Standing on her front porch saying goodnight to Rob, she had an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach. It almost felt like there were eyes on her.
"Brie I had a wonderful time tonight. I really hope we can do it again soon."
As she was about to answer, he kissed her and she froze. Dammit! Now it was ruined. It was no longer his lips that were the last to touch hers.
A few feet away, Kris was feeling sick to his stomach watching what was unfolding right before his eyes.
"Rob, I don't want to give you the wrong impression or lead you on in any way. I had a good time tonight, I really did, and I can't thank you enough for letting me spill my guts about everything, but I just don't know that I'm ready to let go of the past yet. I know it's stupid but I just can't let go."
"Well, I'm not not going to pretend that I'm not disappointed, but I understand. I know what it's like to be in love with someone who isn't in love with you and not being able to let it go."
"Don't...now you're making me feel bad."
"Sorry, I'm not trying to, I just...get it. I'm glad you gave me the chance to apologize."
"I am too. I'd still like to hang out with you...I just don't want any misunderstandings."
"Got it boss. I'll take what I can get."
"Thanks again for a great night," she said giving him a hug and a peck on the cheek. "I'll call you."
"Goodnight Brielle."
Kris watched as the door closed behind her. She'd moved on.
That night, it was his turn to cry himself to sleep.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Chapter 9
"I'm so glad you're finally home Brie. It has been soooooo boring around here without you," Jeanette told her as they walked down the street from shop to shop.
"I'm sure it hasn't been that bad," Brie replied.
"Of course it has! What do you know, you've been living it up at university! I want to hear all about it and don't leave out any details!"
"Seriously Jeanie, there's nothing really to tell. I go to class, go to practice, and go to the library, that's it. Nothing exciting."
"Don't hold out on me Brie, Tell me about the boys. I bet there are thousands of hot guys just ripe for the picking."
"Jeanette, listen to yourself. You talk about guys like they're pieces of meat; it's disgusting."
"Oh please. Are you telling me that you have not partaken in any of the hunky men that I'm sure were throwing themselves at you."
"First of all, I had no one throw themselves at me. Second of all, even if they did, I don't have time. University is not like highschool. You have to work your ass off if you want to get good grades. That was my focus, not men."
"What? Were none of them hockey players?" Jeanette said snidely.
"Don't go there Jeanette," Brie said tersely.
"Brie, it's been a year. You have to get over him and move on. You weren't even a couple!"
"I don't expect you to understand Jeanette. I have moved on. Me not dating has nothing to do with him. It's my choice. I don't want to date because I'm busy."
"Yeah, busy wallowing over Kri..."
"Don't you dare say his name!"
"See. Not over him."
Jeanette was right. She was not over him; not even close. She had no life at university because she didn't want one. It took her months to get to the point where she wasn't crying herself to sleep every night. She didn't want to meet people; she didn't want to make new friends; she certainly didn't want to date. But it wasn't just a broken heart she was suffering from; it was a broken spirit too. She was in mourning. She was grieving the loss of the love of her life and her best friend. They had shared everything together and it was gone in an instant. She needed to go through the grieving process but couldn't. She was stuck. There would never be any getting over Kristopher for her. He was the one; she knew it and she was convinced that he did too. She felt it in his kiss. She just couldn't figure out why he had denied it. Her heart belonged to one man and one man only.
Brie had travelled many weekends to watch Kristopher play without ever telling anyone. She couldn't help herself. She had spent years supporting him and his dream and she didn't want to miss it. Despite the heartache, she was so proud of him and still loved watching him play.
The sound of his name snapped Brie out of her day dream.
"Kristopher! Wait up."
Brie and Jeanette turned around and saw a blond girl coming out of the sports store and catching up to the boy she was calling after.
He turned around and smiled at the girl and Brie froze. She recognized that smile anywhere. It was him. The girl handed him a bag that he must have forgot in the store. He thanked her and turned around and walked in the opposite direction.
Brie didn't move; just watched him walk away...again.
"Yeah, you're over him all right," Jeanette said while linking her arm with Brie's. "Let's go Brie."
Reluctantly, Brie followed her friend.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Brielle LaRoche. You are looking damn good girl!"
"Thanks Rob," Brie replied dryly.
"Hey Rob!" Jeanette said enthusiastically.
"Hey Jenny," he said.
She giggled and Brie rolled her eyes.
"We should definitely get together soon Brie. I'd love to hear what you've been doing over there in school."
"I don't think so Rob."
"Come on Brie, it'll be a good time."
"Yeah Brie, what else have you got to do?" Jeanette added.
"Thanks, but I don't think so."
"Look Brie, I know I've been kind of an idiot in the past, but everyone changes. I know I have. I'm not the same stupid kid I was in highschool. What'd ya say; give me a second chance?"
Jeanette was looking at her practically pleading with her to say yes, like it would be her going out with him. Brie knew that she would never hear the end of it if she said no.
"Fine, what the hell."
"Seriously?" Jeanette and Rob said at the same time.
"Yes."
"Great! How 'bout I pick you up around seven tomorrow? We can catch a movie then maybe go out for coffee after?"
"Sure. Sounds nice Rob. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Bye Brie."
Jeanette was so excited she was practically hyperventilating.
"I can't believe you're going out with Rob Taylor you lucky bitch!" she squealed.
"Me either," Brie replied. "Me either."
Brie totally tuned Jeanette out as she rambled on and on about clothes and god knows what else.
'I can't believe I agreed to this. I know I'm going to regret this.'
"I'm sure it hasn't been that bad," Brie replied.
"Of course it has! What do you know, you've been living it up at university! I want to hear all about it and don't leave out any details!"
"Seriously Jeanie, there's nothing really to tell. I go to class, go to practice, and go to the library, that's it. Nothing exciting."
"Don't hold out on me Brie, Tell me about the boys. I bet there are thousands of hot guys just ripe for the picking."
"Jeanette, listen to yourself. You talk about guys like they're pieces of meat; it's disgusting."
"Oh please. Are you telling me that you have not partaken in any of the hunky men that I'm sure were throwing themselves at you."
"First of all, I had no one throw themselves at me. Second of all, even if they did, I don't have time. University is not like highschool. You have to work your ass off if you want to get good grades. That was my focus, not men."
"What? Were none of them hockey players?" Jeanette said snidely.
"Don't go there Jeanette," Brie said tersely.
"Brie, it's been a year. You have to get over him and move on. You weren't even a couple!"
"I don't expect you to understand Jeanette. I have moved on. Me not dating has nothing to do with him. It's my choice. I don't want to date because I'm busy."
"Yeah, busy wallowing over Kri..."
"Don't you dare say his name!"
"See. Not over him."
Jeanette was right. She was not over him; not even close. She had no life at university because she didn't want one. It took her months to get to the point where she wasn't crying herself to sleep every night. She didn't want to meet people; she didn't want to make new friends; she certainly didn't want to date. But it wasn't just a broken heart she was suffering from; it was a broken spirit too. She was in mourning. She was grieving the loss of the love of her life and her best friend. They had shared everything together and it was gone in an instant. She needed to go through the grieving process but couldn't. She was stuck. There would never be any getting over Kristopher for her. He was the one; she knew it and she was convinced that he did too. She felt it in his kiss. She just couldn't figure out why he had denied it. Her heart belonged to one man and one man only.
Brie had travelled many weekends to watch Kristopher play without ever telling anyone. She couldn't help herself. She had spent years supporting him and his dream and she didn't want to miss it. Despite the heartache, she was so proud of him and still loved watching him play.
The sound of his name snapped Brie out of her day dream.
"Kristopher! Wait up."
Brie and Jeanette turned around and saw a blond girl coming out of the sports store and catching up to the boy she was calling after.
He turned around and smiled at the girl and Brie froze. She recognized that smile anywhere. It was him. The girl handed him a bag that he must have forgot in the store. He thanked her and turned around and walked in the opposite direction.
Brie didn't move; just watched him walk away...again.
"Yeah, you're over him all right," Jeanette said while linking her arm with Brie's. "Let's go Brie."
Reluctantly, Brie followed her friend.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Brielle LaRoche. You are looking damn good girl!"
"Thanks Rob," Brie replied dryly.
"Hey Rob!" Jeanette said enthusiastically.
"Hey Jenny," he said.
She giggled and Brie rolled her eyes.
"We should definitely get together soon Brie. I'd love to hear what you've been doing over there in school."
"I don't think so Rob."
"Come on Brie, it'll be a good time."
"Yeah Brie, what else have you got to do?" Jeanette added.
"Thanks, but I don't think so."
"Look Brie, I know I've been kind of an idiot in the past, but everyone changes. I know I have. I'm not the same stupid kid I was in highschool. What'd ya say; give me a second chance?"
Jeanette was looking at her practically pleading with her to say yes, like it would be her going out with him. Brie knew that she would never hear the end of it if she said no.
"Fine, what the hell."
"Seriously?" Jeanette and Rob said at the same time.
"Yes."
"Great! How 'bout I pick you up around seven tomorrow? We can catch a movie then maybe go out for coffee after?"
"Sure. Sounds nice Rob. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Bye Brie."
Jeanette was so excited she was practically hyperventilating.
"I can't believe you're going out with Rob Taylor you lucky bitch!" she squealed.
"Me either," Brie replied. "Me either."
Brie totally tuned Jeanette out as she rambled on and on about clothes and god knows what else.
'I can't believe I agreed to this. I know I'm going to regret this.'
Friday, March 19, 2010
Chapter 8
"Are you really just going to sit here and let her leave without saying goodbye?" Christianne asked her son.
"Oui maman."
"Kristopher Allan you are being ridiculous! You and Brie have been best friends your whole lives and now when you are both about to embark on these important new journeys, you're going to do it alone? I don't understand Kristopher, what happened with you two?"
Kris hadn't told his mother about what happened; he couldn't. He had already broken Brie's heart, he couldn't stand it if he broke his mother's too. She had never said anything to him, but he knew deep down their mother's had always dreamed they would someday get married and have a dozen little hockey and ballet prodigies for them to dote on. He remembered the first time they heard their mother's talking about it over tea in the LaRoche's kitchen.
----------------flashback----------------------
"I can just see them twenty years from now: he'll be in the NHL and Brie will be a doctor. We'll be the one's planning the wedding because neither of them will have time."
"Nor the inclination," Margot added. "Could you see Brielle trying to plan a wedding?" she laughed.
"They'd be getting married in sweatpants and having a barbeque in the backyard!"
"There's no way in hell you're ever going to get Brie in a wedding dress, you know that right Margot?"
"I know, I know."
"How many grandchildren do you think they'd give us?"
"I need at least half a dozen; three little hockey players and three little ballerinas."
"Eew gross!" he exclaimed when they ran outside to the swing in the tall oak tree. Brie climbed on and Kris gave her a push.
"They want us to get married!" a seven year old Kris proffessed to his friend. "That means we'd have to kiss and stuff!"
"Yuck! I'm not kissing you," Brie said.
"Well, I'm not kissing you either," Kris retorted.
They sat in easy silence for a while. Her swinging and him pushing her.
"I'm never getting married," she finally said.
"Never?"
"Nope, never. Boys are bossy and I don't want some boy thinking he can tell me what to do all the time."
"Not all boys are bossy Brie. I don't tell you what to do."
"Yeah, but you're not like a real boy, you're my best friend. That's different."
"Oh."
"Besides, if you get married then you have to do all that yucky love stuff. Gross!"
"Yeah, gross," Kris agreed.
"Well if you're never getting married, then I'm never getting married either," he stated.
"Yeah, we'll just be best friends forever. We can grow up and go to school and be rich and live together and we won't need anybody else right Kris?"
"Right."
-------------------End flashback-------------------------
"We just had a fight maman."
"Must have been some fight; you've been moping around here for weeks. Just apologize for pete sakes and get on with it.
"It's not that easy; I can't just apologize and have everything be okay again."
"Well you better figure it out and soon," she said looking out the window and seeing the last of the boxes being put in the U-Haul. "If you let her leave without saying goodbye, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."
It had been three weeks since he had broken his best friend's heart. They had never gone this long without talking; never been in a fight of this magnitude. He had called her everyday for the first week; hell he'd even gone over to beg for her forgivness. It took a lot of convincing to get Margot to let him in, but she had. He sat on the floor outside her locked bedroom door for three hours trying to get her to talk to him. He got no response. He had said everything he could possibly think of to say, yet she never uttered a word. God she could be so damn stubborn! One of the qualitites he usually loved about her was now driving him crazy.
Kris all but gave up on Brie that day. Sure he still hoped against hope that she would come to her senses and show up at his door begging him to be her best friend again, but he knew that wasn't going to happen.
He pulled the curtains back and saw Brie out on the sidewalk with a bunch of her friends from school hugging and saying their goodbyes. Someone happened to notice they were being watched.
"It's kind of creepy that he's just up there watching you," Jeanette said.
"Who?"
"Kris," she motioned towards the window he was standing in.
"Oh," she replied without looking.
"Are you really going to leave without saying goodbye to him?" Jeanette questioned.
"Yep."
"Wow! I don't know what's up with the new Brie but I like her!"
"Nothing's up. I just want to leave the past in the past and get a new start with new people. Kris is in the past. As a matter of fact, Kristopher Letang is dead to me."
"Ready to go honey?" Margot yelled to her daughter.
"Sure am. Let's go."
Brie waved to her friends one last time before getting in the car with her mother.
"See you guys at Christmas," she called as she slid into the passenger seat.
"Have fun," they all yelled back.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Jeanette called.
Brie smiled and shut the car door.
"Are you ready for this honey?"
"I'm ready mom."
But Margot didn't start the car.
"Brie, are you sure you want to leave without saying goodbye to Kr..."
Brie stoppedd her mother from finishing.
"I have nothing to say to him mom. It's time to move on. And please, I really don't ever want to hear his name again. End of discussion."
Margot shook her head in disagreement, but said no more. She knew it was pointless. The boy next door had broken her daughter's heart; she just hoped it wasn't broken beyond repair.
She was just about ready to get in the car.
'Come on Brie, come on. Just look up. Please just look up at me' he urged silently.
When the car door shut and he hadn't seen those beautiful blue eyes, his heart sank; but when the car failed to move, his heart began beating just a little faster.
'I knew she couldn't do it. She can't leave without saying goodbye. Come on baby; please don't leave me without saying goodbye.'
His hope quickly faded to heartache as he watched the car finally start to drive away dragging part of his heart with it.
Hot tears stung his cheeks as he tried to process what what happening.
She did it. She actually left without saying goodbye, and he had no one to blame but himself. He had the chance to stop it and he didn't. He loved her. He loved her more than he thought it was possible to love another person and that's why he let her go. He could never forgive himself if she threw her future away for him. But he never expected it to hurt this much.
He made his way down the stairs and out to the old familiar oak tree, but this time it was him taking a seat on the swing. He needed to feel close to her and this was the only place that could do that. He sat, swinging slowly and let the tears fall freely.
"I'm so sorry," he sobbed out loud. "I'm so, so sorry. I will always love you Brie. No one will ever take your place."
It was the first time he had ever said those words out loud. Too bad it was too late.
"Oui maman."
"Kristopher Allan you are being ridiculous! You and Brie have been best friends your whole lives and now when you are both about to embark on these important new journeys, you're going to do it alone? I don't understand Kristopher, what happened with you two?"
Kris hadn't told his mother about what happened; he couldn't. He had already broken Brie's heart, he couldn't stand it if he broke his mother's too. She had never said anything to him, but he knew deep down their mother's had always dreamed they would someday get married and have a dozen little hockey and ballet prodigies for them to dote on. He remembered the first time they heard their mother's talking about it over tea in the LaRoche's kitchen.
----------------flashback----------------------
"I can just see them twenty years from now: he'll be in the NHL and Brie will be a doctor. We'll be the one's planning the wedding because neither of them will have time."
"Nor the inclination," Margot added. "Could you see Brielle trying to plan a wedding?" she laughed.
"They'd be getting married in sweatpants and having a barbeque in the backyard!"
"There's no way in hell you're ever going to get Brie in a wedding dress, you know that right Margot?"
"I know, I know."
"How many grandchildren do you think they'd give us?"
"I need at least half a dozen; three little hockey players and three little ballerinas."
"Eew gross!" he exclaimed when they ran outside to the swing in the tall oak tree. Brie climbed on and Kris gave her a push.
"They want us to get married!" a seven year old Kris proffessed to his friend. "That means we'd have to kiss and stuff!"
"Yuck! I'm not kissing you," Brie said.
"Well, I'm not kissing you either," Kris retorted.
They sat in easy silence for a while. Her swinging and him pushing her.
"I'm never getting married," she finally said.
"Never?"
"Nope, never. Boys are bossy and I don't want some boy thinking he can tell me what to do all the time."
"Not all boys are bossy Brie. I don't tell you what to do."
"Yeah, but you're not like a real boy, you're my best friend. That's different."
"Oh."
"Besides, if you get married then you have to do all that yucky love stuff. Gross!"
"Yeah, gross," Kris agreed.
"Well if you're never getting married, then I'm never getting married either," he stated.
"Yeah, we'll just be best friends forever. We can grow up and go to school and be rich and live together and we won't need anybody else right Kris?"
"Right."
-------------------End flashback-------------------------
"We just had a fight maman."
"Must have been some fight; you've been moping around here for weeks. Just apologize for pete sakes and get on with it.
"It's not that easy; I can't just apologize and have everything be okay again."
"Well you better figure it out and soon," she said looking out the window and seeing the last of the boxes being put in the U-Haul. "If you let her leave without saying goodbye, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."
It had been three weeks since he had broken his best friend's heart. They had never gone this long without talking; never been in a fight of this magnitude. He had called her everyday for the first week; hell he'd even gone over to beg for her forgivness. It took a lot of convincing to get Margot to let him in, but she had. He sat on the floor outside her locked bedroom door for three hours trying to get her to talk to him. He got no response. He had said everything he could possibly think of to say, yet she never uttered a word. God she could be so damn stubborn! One of the qualitites he usually loved about her was now driving him crazy.
Kris all but gave up on Brie that day. Sure he still hoped against hope that she would come to her senses and show up at his door begging him to be her best friend again, but he knew that wasn't going to happen.
He pulled the curtains back and saw Brie out on the sidewalk with a bunch of her friends from school hugging and saying their goodbyes. Someone happened to notice they were being watched.
"It's kind of creepy that he's just up there watching you," Jeanette said.
"Who?"
"Kris," she motioned towards the window he was standing in.
"Oh," she replied without looking.
"Are you really going to leave without saying goodbye to him?" Jeanette questioned.
"Yep."
"Wow! I don't know what's up with the new Brie but I like her!"
"Nothing's up. I just want to leave the past in the past and get a new start with new people. Kris is in the past. As a matter of fact, Kristopher Letang is dead to me."
"Ready to go honey?" Margot yelled to her daughter.
"Sure am. Let's go."
Brie waved to her friends one last time before getting in the car with her mother.
"See you guys at Christmas," she called as she slid into the passenger seat.
"Have fun," they all yelled back.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Jeanette called.
Brie smiled and shut the car door.
"Are you ready for this honey?"
"I'm ready mom."
But Margot didn't start the car.
"Brie, are you sure you want to leave without saying goodbye to Kr..."
Brie stoppedd her mother from finishing.
"I have nothing to say to him mom. It's time to move on. And please, I really don't ever want to hear his name again. End of discussion."
Margot shook her head in disagreement, but said no more. She knew it was pointless. The boy next door had broken her daughter's heart; she just hoped it wasn't broken beyond repair.
She was just about ready to get in the car.
'Come on Brie, come on. Just look up. Please just look up at me' he urged silently.
When the car door shut and he hadn't seen those beautiful blue eyes, his heart sank; but when the car failed to move, his heart began beating just a little faster.
'I knew she couldn't do it. She can't leave without saying goodbye. Come on baby; please don't leave me without saying goodbye.'
His hope quickly faded to heartache as he watched the car finally start to drive away dragging part of his heart with it.
Hot tears stung his cheeks as he tried to process what what happening.
She did it. She actually left without saying goodbye, and he had no one to blame but himself. He had the chance to stop it and he didn't. He loved her. He loved her more than he thought it was possible to love another person and that's why he let her go. He could never forgive himself if she threw her future away for him. But he never expected it to hurt this much.
He made his way down the stairs and out to the old familiar oak tree, but this time it was him taking a seat on the swing. He needed to feel close to her and this was the only place that could do that. He sat, swinging slowly and let the tears fall freely.
"I'm so sorry," he sobbed out loud. "I'm so, so sorry. I will always love you Brie. No one will ever take your place."
It was the first time he had ever said those words out loud. Too bad it was too late.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Chapter 7
"I umm, just got here," he said nervously. "I shouldn't have come. I should go," he said, quickly turning to leave.
"No, wait!" Brie exclaimed grabbing his arm to stop him from leaving. "Kristopher, we need to talk."
He knew she was right, but was he ready for what was about to happen? His life was already about to make such a drastic change, he wasn't sure if he could handle another one.
He nodded his head and followed her outside. Kris knew exactly where they were headed. Brie took a seat on the swing that hung from the old oak tree at the very back of her yard. It was her thinking tree; and the gentle gliding motion of the swing had helped her make some tough decisions in her young life. Kris took his regular spot behind her and instinctively gave her a push. She sat swing and he stood pushing her in silence until she found the courage to speak.
"Kristopher, I'm so sorry," she said quietly.
"I know," he replied, giving her another push. "I'm sorry too."
"No! Don't do that! Don't make this easy on me. I was horrible to you and I need to face the consequences. You can't just make it okay so easily."
"I'm sorry Brie, I just hate fighting with you and these last three days have been hell. I just want to forget about it and move on."
"But we can't move on until we clear some things up. There are things that need to be said and you need to let me say them before I loose my nerve."
"Brie, seriously, we don't need to go there. I just want to spend what's left of the summer with my best friend before we go our seperate ways."
"That's part of it though Kris. Going our seperate ways is exactly what led us to this point. I was so hurt and so angry when you told me you were leaving that I never stopped to consider how you were feeling."
"It's tough Brie. I'm so excited; this is what I've worked so hard for and now it's finally happening, but I'm so sad because I have to be so far away from you."
"And I made things worse by being mad you for leaving when I really was mad at myself."
"Why would you be mad at yourself?"
"I was mad at you for doing to me the exact same thing I was about to do to you. I was so busy wallowing in self pity over the fact I was loosing by best friend, I was completely oblivious to the fact I was going to be doing the same thing to you."
"Now I'm really confused. What are you talking about Brie?"
"I'm leaving for school at the end of August. I got accepted to Carleton in Ottawa."
Kris was at a loss for words. She was right. This was exactly what he had done to her only a few days before, but there was one major difference. He told her right away.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was scared; I didn't know how to; I didn't want to hurt you; I didn't want to think about leaving you behind; you name it, I had every excuse in the book."
As he continued to push her on the swing, Kris felt the anger and disappointment growing inside him.
"How long have you known?" he asked slowly.
"It really doesn't matter..."
"It matters to me," he said in a slightly raised voice.
Brie closed her eyes; pumped her legs with the push he gave her and took a deep breath before responding to his original question.
"I got my acceptance letter in May."
"MAY! Damn it Brie, that was almost three months ago."
"I know, I'm sorry Kristopher. I wanted to tell you...I just...couldn't."
"I can't believe you kept something this huge from me for three months," he said with the hurt and disappointment oozing from his voice. "And everything you've put us through the last three days? I don't even know what to say to you right now Brielle."
He only called her that when he was angry with her.
"Then don't say anything; just listen," she said stopping the motion of the swing so she could turn around and face him. She was met by two pools of chocolate staring at her and for a moment, Brie was sure she was going to loose her nerve. But she couldn't. Her entire relationship with Kris was on the line and that was something she wasn't prepared to lose; at least not without a fight.
Brie sat back down on the swing, just in case her legs decided to fail her, and held the hands of her best friend; the hands of the boy she was about to pour her heart out to.
"Kristopher, this whole mess is because I'm scared."
"Of what?"
"Of everything! Of telling you I'm going away to school; of leaving you behind; of not being with you every day; of you going to Val d'Or and forgetting about me. But most of all, I'm scared of what will happen if I never admit the truth, and I'm scared of what will happen if I do."
"Admit the truth about what?" he asked cautiously.
Brie's entire body began to tremble and tears started to fall freely down her cheeks.
Kris tenderly wiped the tears from her face.
"Come on Brie, you can tell me anything."
"I'm in love with you Kristopher," she blurted out.
There! She said it. It was out there and there was no taking it back. She looked at him, waiting for him to say something, but no words escaped his mouth.
"You're...in-love-with-me?" he finally questioned slowly.
She nodded her head up and down. "Yes."
"I can't believe this. You're kidding right now right?"
"No. I've been in love with you for...well forever, I was just to scared to tell you. We've been best friends our entire lives, and I was afraid if I told you, I'd loose you and I couldn't bare the thought of that," Brie sobbed.
"So why now?"
"Because I have nothing left to loose. I couldn't let you leave without telling you how I feel. I couldn't leave without finding out if you feel the same way."
"I can't even wrap my head around this Brie. You can't just drop something like this on me and expect me to say the right thing."
"I don't want you to say the right thing, I want you to say how you feel; I just want you to tell me the truth. Do we have a chance Kristopher?"
He looked at the girl sitting in front of him. The girl he had shared every important moment in his life with. The girl who had indeed given up everything she loved to be there for him and support his dreams. The girl who he could not and would not want to imagine his life without.
"How Brie? How could we have a chance when we're both leaving? We're going to be miles away from each other."
"Love," was her simple reply. "If we love each other, that's all that matters."
He shook his head in disagreement. "I just don't see it Brie. We'll never see each other and it's so hard to..."
She put her finger to his lips to stop the words from coming out of his mouth.
"Our whole lives have been about getting you to this point," she said. "You are what's important to me Kristopher. If you tell me you're in love with me too, that's all I need to hear. If you love me I'm there."
"What are you saying Brie?"
"If you love me, I'll go with you."
"You can't just forget about school and move to Val d'Or. There's nothing there."
"You'll be there."
"Brie, that's insane. What are you going to do, give up school and do what? Work at Tim Horton's for the rest of your life?"
"I don't know, I can still go to school, I just won't go right away."
Brie was feeling more and more energized the more they talked. Why she hadn't thought of this before was beyond her. Maybe because she never thought it was possible; but now, as they talked about it, she was getting a good feeling. This was the happiest she'd felt in months. Her future with Kristopher was about to fall into place.
Kris felt like he was on a merry go round that was spinning out of control and he just couldn't get off. A million things were running through his head; but what stuck out the most were the words of a girl he didn't even like. 'She's given up everything thing for you, but what have you ever done for her?' She was right. He had done nothing for Brie; but that was about to change.
"Kristopher?"
"Hmm?" he mumbled.
Brie took a step closer to him, put her hands on his chest and looked up into his eyes. This was it. She had laid everything out on the line; well, almost everything. She reached her hand up and gently snaked it around his neck and up through his hair. She pulled him towards her until at long last, their lips met. She swore sparks were flying and the heat ran through her body immediately. Her other hand found it's way through his hair and when his hands found the small of her back another shock wave ran through her body. All the hurt and anger from the last few days melted away when she was wrapped in his arms. A sense of calm enveloped her whole body and she finally felt like she was...home.
When they finally parted she smiled up at him.
"I knew it," she whispered. "You love me too."
It made him sick to his stomach to think about what he was about to do to her.
"I'm sorry Brielle, but I don't love you, not like that."
Brie couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"No, I don't believe you," she argued. "That kiss...I felt it..."
"Brie, I'm sorry. I just don't love you that way."
Brie dropped to her knees and began to cry uncontrollably. Kris put his hand on her shoulder and said "I'm sorry Brie..."
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she screamed trying to shrug his hand off her shoulder. "JUST GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"
"Brie, come on."
"I SAID GO! JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
The sight of her on the ground crying broke his heart. When he couldn't stop his own tears from falling he started to walk away. He turned to take one last look at her.
"I'm sorry Brielle. It didn't have to be this way. I never wanted to hurt you."
And just like that, he was gone.
"No, wait!" Brie exclaimed grabbing his arm to stop him from leaving. "Kristopher, we need to talk."
He knew she was right, but was he ready for what was about to happen? His life was already about to make such a drastic change, he wasn't sure if he could handle another one.
He nodded his head and followed her outside. Kris knew exactly where they were headed. Brie took a seat on the swing that hung from the old oak tree at the very back of her yard. It was her thinking tree; and the gentle gliding motion of the swing had helped her make some tough decisions in her young life. Kris took his regular spot behind her and instinctively gave her a push. She sat swing and he stood pushing her in silence until she found the courage to speak.
"Kristopher, I'm so sorry," she said quietly.
"I know," he replied, giving her another push. "I'm sorry too."
"No! Don't do that! Don't make this easy on me. I was horrible to you and I need to face the consequences. You can't just make it okay so easily."
"I'm sorry Brie, I just hate fighting with you and these last three days have been hell. I just want to forget about it and move on."
"But we can't move on until we clear some things up. There are things that need to be said and you need to let me say them before I loose my nerve."
"Brie, seriously, we don't need to go there. I just want to spend what's left of the summer with my best friend before we go our seperate ways."
"That's part of it though Kris. Going our seperate ways is exactly what led us to this point. I was so hurt and so angry when you told me you were leaving that I never stopped to consider how you were feeling."
"It's tough Brie. I'm so excited; this is what I've worked so hard for and now it's finally happening, but I'm so sad because I have to be so far away from you."
"And I made things worse by being mad you for leaving when I really was mad at myself."
"Why would you be mad at yourself?"
"I was mad at you for doing to me the exact same thing I was about to do to you. I was so busy wallowing in self pity over the fact I was loosing by best friend, I was completely oblivious to the fact I was going to be doing the same thing to you."
"Now I'm really confused. What are you talking about Brie?"
"I'm leaving for school at the end of August. I got accepted to Carleton in Ottawa."
Kris was at a loss for words. She was right. This was exactly what he had done to her only a few days before, but there was one major difference. He told her right away.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was scared; I didn't know how to; I didn't want to hurt you; I didn't want to think about leaving you behind; you name it, I had every excuse in the book."
As he continued to push her on the swing, Kris felt the anger and disappointment growing inside him.
"How long have you known?" he asked slowly.
"It really doesn't matter..."
"It matters to me," he said in a slightly raised voice.
Brie closed her eyes; pumped her legs with the push he gave her and took a deep breath before responding to his original question.
"I got my acceptance letter in May."
"MAY! Damn it Brie, that was almost three months ago."
"I know, I'm sorry Kristopher. I wanted to tell you...I just...couldn't."
"I can't believe you kept something this huge from me for three months," he said with the hurt and disappointment oozing from his voice. "And everything you've put us through the last three days? I don't even know what to say to you right now Brielle."
He only called her that when he was angry with her.
"Then don't say anything; just listen," she said stopping the motion of the swing so she could turn around and face him. She was met by two pools of chocolate staring at her and for a moment, Brie was sure she was going to loose her nerve. But she couldn't. Her entire relationship with Kris was on the line and that was something she wasn't prepared to lose; at least not without a fight.
Brie sat back down on the swing, just in case her legs decided to fail her, and held the hands of her best friend; the hands of the boy she was about to pour her heart out to.
"Kristopher, this whole mess is because I'm scared."
"Of what?"
"Of everything! Of telling you I'm going away to school; of leaving you behind; of not being with you every day; of you going to Val d'Or and forgetting about me. But most of all, I'm scared of what will happen if I never admit the truth, and I'm scared of what will happen if I do."
"Admit the truth about what?" he asked cautiously.
Brie's entire body began to tremble and tears started to fall freely down her cheeks.
Kris tenderly wiped the tears from her face.
"Come on Brie, you can tell me anything."
"I'm in love with you Kristopher," she blurted out.
There! She said it. It was out there and there was no taking it back. She looked at him, waiting for him to say something, but no words escaped his mouth.
"You're...in-love-with-me?" he finally questioned slowly.
She nodded her head up and down. "Yes."
"I can't believe this. You're kidding right now right?"
"No. I've been in love with you for...well forever, I was just to scared to tell you. We've been best friends our entire lives, and I was afraid if I told you, I'd loose you and I couldn't bare the thought of that," Brie sobbed.
"So why now?"
"Because I have nothing left to loose. I couldn't let you leave without telling you how I feel. I couldn't leave without finding out if you feel the same way."
"I can't even wrap my head around this Brie. You can't just drop something like this on me and expect me to say the right thing."
"I don't want you to say the right thing, I want you to say how you feel; I just want you to tell me the truth. Do we have a chance Kristopher?"
He looked at the girl sitting in front of him. The girl he had shared every important moment in his life with. The girl who had indeed given up everything she loved to be there for him and support his dreams. The girl who he could not and would not want to imagine his life without.
"How Brie? How could we have a chance when we're both leaving? We're going to be miles away from each other."
"Love," was her simple reply. "If we love each other, that's all that matters."
He shook his head in disagreement. "I just don't see it Brie. We'll never see each other and it's so hard to..."
She put her finger to his lips to stop the words from coming out of his mouth.
"Our whole lives have been about getting you to this point," she said. "You are what's important to me Kristopher. If you tell me you're in love with me too, that's all I need to hear. If you love me I'm there."
"What are you saying Brie?"
"If you love me, I'll go with you."
"You can't just forget about school and move to Val d'Or. There's nothing there."
"You'll be there."
"Brie, that's insane. What are you going to do, give up school and do what? Work at Tim Horton's for the rest of your life?"
"I don't know, I can still go to school, I just won't go right away."
Brie was feeling more and more energized the more they talked. Why she hadn't thought of this before was beyond her. Maybe because she never thought it was possible; but now, as they talked about it, she was getting a good feeling. This was the happiest she'd felt in months. Her future with Kristopher was about to fall into place.
Kris felt like he was on a merry go round that was spinning out of control and he just couldn't get off. A million things were running through his head; but what stuck out the most were the words of a girl he didn't even like. 'She's given up everything thing for you, but what have you ever done for her?' She was right. He had done nothing for Brie; but that was about to change.
"Kristopher?"
"Hmm?" he mumbled.
Brie took a step closer to him, put her hands on his chest and looked up into his eyes. This was it. She had laid everything out on the line; well, almost everything. She reached her hand up and gently snaked it around his neck and up through his hair. She pulled him towards her until at long last, their lips met. She swore sparks were flying and the heat ran through her body immediately. Her other hand found it's way through his hair and when his hands found the small of her back another shock wave ran through her body. All the hurt and anger from the last few days melted away when she was wrapped in his arms. A sense of calm enveloped her whole body and she finally felt like she was...home.
When they finally parted she smiled up at him.
"I knew it," she whispered. "You love me too."
It made him sick to his stomach to think about what he was about to do to her.
"I'm sorry Brielle, but I don't love you, not like that."
Brie couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"No, I don't believe you," she argued. "That kiss...I felt it..."
"Brie, I'm sorry. I just don't love you that way."
Brie dropped to her knees and began to cry uncontrollably. Kris put his hand on her shoulder and said "I'm sorry Brie..."
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she screamed trying to shrug his hand off her shoulder. "JUST GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!"
"Brie, come on."
"I SAID GO! JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME!"
The sight of her on the ground crying broke his heart. When he couldn't stop his own tears from falling he started to walk away. He turned to take one last look at her.
"I'm sorry Brielle. It didn't have to be this way. I never wanted to hurt you."
And just like that, he was gone.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Chapter 6
"Brie honey? Are you going to come out of this room for dinner tonight?" Margot Laroche asked her daughter.
"No, leave me alone."
"Brie, you haven't left your room for three days. You haven't eaten anything, you haven't even showered. What is going on with you?"
Brie rolled over and pulled the covers up over her head.
"Nothing, just leave me alone maman."
Margot moved closer to her daughter and sat down on the bed beside her.
"Does your mood have something to do with a certain young man from next door and the fact that he hasn't been around the last three days?"
"Not everything in life is about Kris mother," Brie's muffled voice replied from under the covers.
Margot laughed out loud.
"Everything in your life does my dear. Just tell me what's going on. I thought you'd want to spend as much time with him as possible before he leaves. Did you have a fight?"
"He hates me mom! I told him something I shouldn't have and now he hates me!"
"Nonsense Brie! You are his best friend, he could never hate you."
"Well he does, and frankly, I don't blame him! I'd hate me too after what I did."
"I think you're being a tad overdramatic Brie. Why don't you tell me what happened."
"I am NOT being overdramatic mother. Kris hasn't talked to me in three days! Have you ever known that to happen?"
"Well...no, but it can't be as bad as you think."
"I told him I was pissed off at him for leaving. That I gave up everything for him and now he was leaving. I said he was hurting me by leaving and I wanted to hurt him as much as he was hurting me. And I did mom; I did hurt him and now he hates me! There. Are you satisfied?" Brie asked her mother in between sobs. "How are you going to put a positive spin on that mother?"
"Oh Brie," Margot sighed. "People say things out of anger that they don't really mean; Kris knows that. He's probably just giving you some time to cool off."
"I don't think so mom. You didn't see the look in his eyes; I hurt him deeply and I don't think he will ever be able to forgive me."
"Well let me ask you this: did you really mean those things you said? Are you really mad at Kristopher or are you mad at yourself?"
"Why would I be mad at myself? I'm not the one leaving!"
"Aren't you? Isn't it you going to university next month? So it's okay for you to go off to school and leave Kris behind, but it's not okay for him to go to Val d'Or to live his dream; a dream that you want for him as much as he wants it for himself? How do you think Kris is feeling about you going to school?"
"It's not the same thing. I have to go to school if I'm ever going to have the life that I want."
"That's precisely my point dear. You're going to school to get the life that you want and Kristopher is going to play junior hockey so he can get the life that he wants. There is no difference; it's the natural progression of life. People grow up and go their separate ways."
"But not us maman. We are Brielle and Kristopher. We are meant to be together...ALWAYS."
"And now the truth comes out."
"What do you mean...what truth?"
"Come on Brielle. All this is not about Kris going off to juniors, you knew it was coming and that is not what you're mad about. You are mad at yourself for not telling him the truth."
"WHAT DAMN TRUTH? I have no idea what you're talking about mother!"
"Brie, I have watched you and Kris grow up right before my eyes. I've been there for every game, every tournament, every fight, every broken heart, every award, every triumph, every defeat. Everything you have experienced, you've experienced together, and now that you're going seperate ways, you're scared. Scared of having experiences without him by your side; but that's not the real reason you don't want him to leave and it's so obvious to everyone but you."
"Because I'm scared to be without him?"
"No dear. Because you're in love with him."
Brie started laughing hysterically and her mother just watched with a look of sadness on her delicate features.
"Oh my god mother!" Brie said gasping for air. "That is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time! You think I'm in love with Kristopher? That's absurd!"
"Is it?"
"Of course it is! Kris is my best friend. I am NOT in love with him!"
"Okay, let me ask you this...who is the first person you think about when you wake up in the morning?"
Brie was silent.
"Well?"
"Kristopher."
"Who's the last person you think about before you go to sleep?"
"Kristopher."
"When you have good news, who is the first person you share it with?"
"Kristopher."
"When you are sad or upset, who do you go to for comfort?"
"Kristopher."
"Who can make you laugh even when you want to cry?"
"Kristopher."
"Who makes you light up like the sun when he walks into a room?"
"Kristopher."
"Would you rather be at a party with kids from school or be at home on the couch watching movies with Kristopher?"
"Watching movies with Kristopher."
"If he asked you to give up school to go with him to Val d'Or would you?"
"Yes."
"Who's happiness and success is more important to you, yours or Kristopher's?"
"Kristopher's."
"I hate to tell you this my dear, but that is not just friendship, that is love."
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," Brie repeated over and over. "I can't be in love with him maman. I just can't! Not now."
"Love doesn't have a timeline sweetheart. It happens whether you want it to or not, whether it's good timing or bad."
"Well the timing couldn't be worse! He hates me and he's leaving in less than a month. I can't believe this is happening to me," Brie said burying her head in a pillow. "How could I be so selfish? How could I have been so mean to him?"
"Because you were hurting and you did what you always do...you lashed out. Kris knows that; he knows you better than anyone. But it's going to be up to you to fix this Brie."
"How do I do that maman?"
"Tell him the truth. Tell him you're in love with him."
With his hand on the door knob, Kris closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was about to push the door open when he heard voices.
"How could I be so selfish? How could I have been so mean to him?"
"Because you were hurting and you did what you always do...you lashed out. Kris knows that; he knows you better than anyone."
Kris smiled at the words Margot was telling her daughter. Words of truth. He did know her better than anyone; even better than her own mother.
"But it's going to be up to you to fix this Brie."
"How do I do that maman?"
"Tell him the truth. Tell him you're in love with him."
Kris' hand slipped of the doorknob. What did he just hear? No, his mind had to be playing tricks on him.
'She's in love with me?' he thought. 'No, this cannot be happening. Not now.'
Kris turned to leave when he heard that angelic voice.
"Kristopher? How long have you been here?"
"No, leave me alone."
"Brie, you haven't left your room for three days. You haven't eaten anything, you haven't even showered. What is going on with you?"
Brie rolled over and pulled the covers up over her head.
"Nothing, just leave me alone maman."
Margot moved closer to her daughter and sat down on the bed beside her.
"Does your mood have something to do with a certain young man from next door and the fact that he hasn't been around the last three days?"
"Not everything in life is about Kris mother," Brie's muffled voice replied from under the covers.
Margot laughed out loud.
"Everything in your life does my dear. Just tell me what's going on. I thought you'd want to spend as much time with him as possible before he leaves. Did you have a fight?"
"He hates me mom! I told him something I shouldn't have and now he hates me!"
"Nonsense Brie! You are his best friend, he could never hate you."
"Well he does, and frankly, I don't blame him! I'd hate me too after what I did."
"I think you're being a tad overdramatic Brie. Why don't you tell me what happened."
"I am NOT being overdramatic mother. Kris hasn't talked to me in three days! Have you ever known that to happen?"
"Well...no, but it can't be as bad as you think."
"I told him I was pissed off at him for leaving. That I gave up everything for him and now he was leaving. I said he was hurting me by leaving and I wanted to hurt him as much as he was hurting me. And I did mom; I did hurt him and now he hates me! There. Are you satisfied?" Brie asked her mother in between sobs. "How are you going to put a positive spin on that mother?"
"Oh Brie," Margot sighed. "People say things out of anger that they don't really mean; Kris knows that. He's probably just giving you some time to cool off."
"I don't think so mom. You didn't see the look in his eyes; I hurt him deeply and I don't think he will ever be able to forgive me."
"Well let me ask you this: did you really mean those things you said? Are you really mad at Kristopher or are you mad at yourself?"
"Why would I be mad at myself? I'm not the one leaving!"
"Aren't you? Isn't it you going to university next month? So it's okay for you to go off to school and leave Kris behind, but it's not okay for him to go to Val d'Or to live his dream; a dream that you want for him as much as he wants it for himself? How do you think Kris is feeling about you going to school?"
"It's not the same thing. I have to go to school if I'm ever going to have the life that I want."
"That's precisely my point dear. You're going to school to get the life that you want and Kristopher is going to play junior hockey so he can get the life that he wants. There is no difference; it's the natural progression of life. People grow up and go their separate ways."
"But not us maman. We are Brielle and Kristopher. We are meant to be together...ALWAYS."
"And now the truth comes out."
"What do you mean...what truth?"
"Come on Brielle. All this is not about Kris going off to juniors, you knew it was coming and that is not what you're mad about. You are mad at yourself for not telling him the truth."
"WHAT DAMN TRUTH? I have no idea what you're talking about mother!"
"Brie, I have watched you and Kris grow up right before my eyes. I've been there for every game, every tournament, every fight, every broken heart, every award, every triumph, every defeat. Everything you have experienced, you've experienced together, and now that you're going seperate ways, you're scared. Scared of having experiences without him by your side; but that's not the real reason you don't want him to leave and it's so obvious to everyone but you."
"Because I'm scared to be without him?"
"No dear. Because you're in love with him."
Brie started laughing hysterically and her mother just watched with a look of sadness on her delicate features.
"Oh my god mother!" Brie said gasping for air. "That is the funniest thing I've heard in a long time! You think I'm in love with Kristopher? That's absurd!"
"Is it?"
"Of course it is! Kris is my best friend. I am NOT in love with him!"
"Okay, let me ask you this...who is the first person you think about when you wake up in the morning?"
Brie was silent.
"Well?"
"Kristopher."
"Who's the last person you think about before you go to sleep?"
"Kristopher."
"When you have good news, who is the first person you share it with?"
"Kristopher."
"When you are sad or upset, who do you go to for comfort?"
"Kristopher."
"Who can make you laugh even when you want to cry?"
"Kristopher."
"Who makes you light up like the sun when he walks into a room?"
"Kristopher."
"Would you rather be at a party with kids from school or be at home on the couch watching movies with Kristopher?"
"Watching movies with Kristopher."
"If he asked you to give up school to go with him to Val d'Or would you?"
"Yes."
"Who's happiness and success is more important to you, yours or Kristopher's?"
"Kristopher's."
"I hate to tell you this my dear, but that is not just friendship, that is love."
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no," Brie repeated over and over. "I can't be in love with him maman. I just can't! Not now."
"Love doesn't have a timeline sweetheart. It happens whether you want it to or not, whether it's good timing or bad."
"Well the timing couldn't be worse! He hates me and he's leaving in less than a month. I can't believe this is happening to me," Brie said burying her head in a pillow. "How could I be so selfish? How could I have been so mean to him?"
"Because you were hurting and you did what you always do...you lashed out. Kris knows that; he knows you better than anyone. But it's going to be up to you to fix this Brie."
"How do I do that maman?"
"Tell him the truth. Tell him you're in love with him."
With his hand on the door knob, Kris closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was about to push the door open when he heard voices.
"How could I be so selfish? How could I have been so mean to him?"
"Because you were hurting and you did what you always do...you lashed out. Kris knows that; he knows you better than anyone."
Kris smiled at the words Margot was telling her daughter. Words of truth. He did know her better than anyone; even better than her own mother.
"But it's going to be up to you to fix this Brie."
"How do I do that maman?"
"Tell him the truth. Tell him you're in love with him."
Kris' hand slipped of the doorknob. What did he just hear? No, his mind had to be playing tricks on him.
'She's in love with me?' he thought. 'No, this cannot be happening. Not now.'
Kris turned to leave when he heard that angelic voice.
"Kristopher? How long have you been here?"
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Chapter 5
"Oh god, please tell me I've died," Brie groaned the next morning.
No one answered her.
'What is that disgusting smell' she thought as she tried to stand up. She was a little woozy but managed to get on her feet with the help of the nightstand.
'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea,' she thought flopping back down on the bed resting her pounding head in her hands.
"Well good morning," a familiar voice said startling her.
"What's so good about it?" she asked without looking up. "And what is that god awful smell?"
"Breakfast," Kris replied simply.
"Ugh, I don't think I can eat anything."
"Good, I didn't make you any."
"Oh," she replied surprised.
"I made coffee if you want any," Kris said before turning and leaving the room.
Brie sat there for a minute thinking how strange it was that Kris was giving her the cold shoulder. Hell, he was almost bordering on being mean. She made her way out to the kitchen where she found Kris sitting at the table eating something that resembled eggs and bacon. Her stomach turned at the sight of it and he didn't even look up. She went to the cupboard and took out a mug and poured herself some coffee, not bothering to add milk or sugar. Nope, today she needed it black. Brie took a seat beside Kris at the table.
Silence.
Not their same usual comfortable silence either.
"Kristopher, are you mad at me?" she finally asked.
"No," he replied without looking up.
"Then what's with the cold shoulder?"
He just shrugged.
"Okay, are we going to fight, because I don't think I can handle it right now; my head is pounding and your breakfast is making me nauseous."
"I'm not going to fight with you, and maybe you should have thought about the way you'd feel today before you drank your face off last night."
"So that's why you're mad at me? Because I drank?"
Kris took a deep breath before he spoke again.
"No, I'm mad because you put yourself in a stupid situation and made me look like an ass," he said, mumbling the last part.
Brie didn't respond, but she could feel the tears starting to build.
Kris saw the tears in the beautiful blue eyes of his best friend and immediately felt bad for being so harsh.
He sighed and put his hand over hers. "What happened last night Brie?" he said softly.
"I don't know, I know I usually don't drink but I just...I felt like...I don't know," she said in a deflated tone.
"I don't mean the drinking."
The mood in the room took a somber turn and they both felt it. Brie knew what was coming next and she did not want to relive the previous night; a night she was not proud of. Kris needed to ask about what happened the night before, but fear of what he might hear was almost crippling his ability to speak.
"What happened...upstairs?"
"Oh. Kris I don't really want to talk about it."
How was she supposed to tell him that she was angry with him. Not even angry; pissed.
Pissed and hurt because he was leaving her. After giving up everything she loved to support him and taking so much flack from well, just about everyone their "bizarre" relationship, he was leaving her. After working so hard, for so long to achieve his dream of someday playing in the NHL; a dream she supported, how could she be mad at him now that he was on his way? She didn't know, but she knew she was and her escapade the night before was purely for revenge. She wanted Kris to hurt as much as she was hurting and she knew that any sort of time she spent with Rob would do just that. Kris and Rob hated each other. The truth was, Brie hated Rob too, but she was willing to put that hatred aside for one night if it meant that she would piss Kris off and make him feel as bad as she was feeling. She never expected it to go as far as it did. She was a horrible person and an even worse friend. How exactly was she supposed to tell her best friend that?
"Brie?" the sound of Kris' voice brought her from her own thoughts. "What happened?"
"Nothing happened Kris, can we just drop it?"
"It didn't look like nothing the way you came flying down the stairs! You were crying and you looked like..." he stopped.
"I looked like what?" she asked curiously.
"Did you...did you two...ya know..."
"No," she replied lowering her eyes.
"Did he try?"
Brie nodded her head without looking at him. The tears were flowing now.
Kris lifted her chin, but she refused to make eye contact with him.
"Brie, did he...hurt you?"
"He was so strong and so quick. The bedroom door was barely closed before he pushed me down on the bed and got on top of me," she cried.
Kris's blood was boiling and he could feel the anger rise inside him.
"I was so scared Kris. I kept telling him no but I couldn't get him off me. I faught as hard as I could but he wasn't moving. I think I gave up fighting at some point, I don't know, it's all pretty blurry. I remember him moving to get something out of his pocket and I kneed him in the balls as hard as I could. He rolled off me enough for me to get up and I was just about out the door and he grabbed me by the hair and I kicked him again. He grabbed my shirt and it ripped but I made it out the door. All I could think about was getting away from him and getting to you," she sobbed.
Kris was now on his knees in front of her holding her hands.
"Shhhh," he said wrapping his arms around her. "I'm going to kill him, you know that right?" he whispered into her hair.
"No! I just want to forget it happened."
"Brie, what he did was bordering on illegal. If he had've succeeded..."
"But he didn't and you know damn well what everyone will say. 'Oh, she went up there with him, she must have wanted it'."
"I'm sorry Brie, but I have to ask, why did you go up there with him?"
"Because I'm a horrible, horrible person and a horrible friend. I don't deserve you Kristopher. I don't deserve to be your friend."
Kris hugged her tightly to his body. "Brie, you're not making any sense."
"I can't tell you, I don't want you to think less of me. I don't want you to know how horrible I really am."
He chuckled a little at how ridiculous she was being. He took her face in his hands and said, "how could you even think that? Brie, you're being silly. You are my best friend and I love you. I could never think badly of you."
"You would if you knew the truth."
"Given the fact that you won't tell me, I think I already do."
"You...wait...what?"
"Jeanette told me the truth Brie," he said quietly. "And I can't say that I'm very happy about it. I'm your best friend, and it makes me really angry that you didn't tell me yourself."
Brie was beyond confused. She hadn't told Jeanette anything.
"What exactly did she tell you?"
"She told me that you really liked Rob and that you didn't tell me because I don't like him and you didn't want to hurt me."
"Well you don't like him."
"So it's true?" he asked unable to hide the hurt and disappointment in his voice.
Brie could hardly believe what she was hearing.
"NO! Absolutely not! I despise Rob!"
Now Kris was confused.
"Then why would Jeanette tell me that?"
"I have no idea..."she trailed off. "When did she tell you this?"
"Just after you went upstairs with him. I was on my way up to stop you and she stopped me."
The wheels were turning a mile a minute in Brie's head. She knew that Jeanette was jealous that Rob liked her and didn't give Jeanette the time of day, but she never thought she'd do anything that might intentionally hurt Brie.
"What else did she tell you?"
Kris really didn't want to open this can of worms but he knew he had no choice.
"She said that you've given up everything for me, done everything for me and that I've never done anything for you and now I was leaving. She said that I should let you have something for yourself and that something was Rob."
There was a long pause.
"Is that really the way you feel Brie?"
"No. Yes. Kind of. Ahhhhhhhhh! I hate this!"
"I'm really confused here Brie. What the hell is going on?"
"Everything is just so messed up Kris," Brie said getting up and going back to Kris' bedroom. She flopped herself down on the bed and buried her head in a pillow.
Kris followed her a minute later and sat down on the bed beside her. Instinctively he started caressing her hair just like he did the night before. He knew that was what could always soothe her.
"Brie, we've never lied to each other. We've always been able to tell each other everything, no matter how bad it was. Please tell me what's going on."
"You'll hate me," was the response that was muffled by the pillow.
"I assure you I could never, ever hate you Brie."
She took a deep breath before sitting up cross legged in front of him. The chocolate eyes that were staring back at her almost made her loose her nerve.
"Okay fine, but don't interrupt me because if you make me stop, I'll never get it out and I really, really need to get it out."
Kris took her hands and she closed her eyes, shook her head and blurt it all out.
"Yes, I am so pissed off that you're leaving me. I gave up all the things I loved to do so I could be there for you and what do I get in return? You leave. I honestly don't think that you owe me anything for supporting you, I really don't. I did it because I wanted to, it's just my heart is breaking because my best friend gets to live his dream and I'm left behind. I'm so proud of you because you've worked so hard for this. I want you to go and I want you to do well but I don't want to be left here without you. I have no other friends here because no one understands the relationship we have and now I'm going to be alone. I don't know how to be alone. I've never been alone. We've been together every day of our lives and now all of a sudden you'll be gone and I'm scared. I'm more than scared, I'm terrified! If you go, I have nothing here. I'm so angry that they're taking you away from me and I'm mad at you for wanting to go and it's stupid I know, because this is what we both wanted for you, but now it's reality and I'm clearly not coping with it very well. I am feeling so hurt and I just wanted you to hurt as much as I am so that's why I went upstairs with Rob, because I knew it would piss you off and hurt you and that's what I wanted. I wanted you to feel as bad as I do. I know it makes me a horrible person and an even worse friend and I'm sorry. I know I have no right to be mad, but I am and I'm sorry for that too. I want you to go, and I want you to be as great as I know you can be, and I want you to get to live every dream you have because you deserve it and I want you to know that I really do want that for you. I guess all the times I've thought about you living your dream, I never imagined that it would be without me. I'm sorry Kristopher, I am so, so, so, so, so, sorry for everything. I'm sorry for wanting to hurt you. I'm sorry for being such a drunken idiot. I'm sorry for being such a bitch. I'm sorry for resenting you. I'm sorry for being angry with you for no reason because it's something you have no control of. But most of all, I'm sorry for not being the kind of friend that you've been to me or the kind of friend you deserve. I completely understand if you hate me and never want to talk to me again, but I want you to know that I'm not proud of my actions over the last 24hours, but I am honestly happy for you. You are my best friend and I love you Kristopher. I hope you remember that, always."
There. She said it. It was out there and there was no taking it back. She raised her eyes to look at him and was surprised to see that there were tears on his cheeks. She cracked a little smile when their eyes met; waiting with much anticipation for his reaction to her confession.
He got up off the bed slowly and walked to the door, just like he did the night before. When he got to the door he simply turned around and said, "Go home Brielle."
No one answered her.
'What is that disgusting smell' she thought as she tried to stand up. She was a little woozy but managed to get on her feet with the help of the nightstand.
'Maybe this wasn't such a good idea,' she thought flopping back down on the bed resting her pounding head in her hands.
"Well good morning," a familiar voice said startling her.
"What's so good about it?" she asked without looking up. "And what is that god awful smell?"
"Breakfast," Kris replied simply.
"Ugh, I don't think I can eat anything."
"Good, I didn't make you any."
"Oh," she replied surprised.
"I made coffee if you want any," Kris said before turning and leaving the room.
Brie sat there for a minute thinking how strange it was that Kris was giving her the cold shoulder. Hell, he was almost bordering on being mean. She made her way out to the kitchen where she found Kris sitting at the table eating something that resembled eggs and bacon. Her stomach turned at the sight of it and he didn't even look up. She went to the cupboard and took out a mug and poured herself some coffee, not bothering to add milk or sugar. Nope, today she needed it black. Brie took a seat beside Kris at the table.
Silence.
Not their same usual comfortable silence either.
"Kristopher, are you mad at me?" she finally asked.
"No," he replied without looking up.
"Then what's with the cold shoulder?"
He just shrugged.
"Okay, are we going to fight, because I don't think I can handle it right now; my head is pounding and your breakfast is making me nauseous."
"I'm not going to fight with you, and maybe you should have thought about the way you'd feel today before you drank your face off last night."
"So that's why you're mad at me? Because I drank?"
Kris took a deep breath before he spoke again.
"No, I'm mad because you put yourself in a stupid situation and made me look like an ass," he said, mumbling the last part.
Brie didn't respond, but she could feel the tears starting to build.
Kris saw the tears in the beautiful blue eyes of his best friend and immediately felt bad for being so harsh.
He sighed and put his hand over hers. "What happened last night Brie?" he said softly.
"I don't know, I know I usually don't drink but I just...I felt like...I don't know," she said in a deflated tone.
"I don't mean the drinking."
The mood in the room took a somber turn and they both felt it. Brie knew what was coming next and she did not want to relive the previous night; a night she was not proud of. Kris needed to ask about what happened the night before, but fear of what he might hear was almost crippling his ability to speak.
"What happened...upstairs?"
"Oh. Kris I don't really want to talk about it."
How was she supposed to tell him that she was angry with him. Not even angry; pissed.
Pissed and hurt because he was leaving her. After giving up everything she loved to support him and taking so much flack from well, just about everyone their "bizarre" relationship, he was leaving her. After working so hard, for so long to achieve his dream of someday playing in the NHL; a dream she supported, how could she be mad at him now that he was on his way? She didn't know, but she knew she was and her escapade the night before was purely for revenge. She wanted Kris to hurt as much as she was hurting and she knew that any sort of time she spent with Rob would do just that. Kris and Rob hated each other. The truth was, Brie hated Rob too, but she was willing to put that hatred aside for one night if it meant that she would piss Kris off and make him feel as bad as she was feeling. She never expected it to go as far as it did. She was a horrible person and an even worse friend. How exactly was she supposed to tell her best friend that?
"Brie?" the sound of Kris' voice brought her from her own thoughts. "What happened?"
"Nothing happened Kris, can we just drop it?"
"It didn't look like nothing the way you came flying down the stairs! You were crying and you looked like..." he stopped.
"I looked like what?" she asked curiously.
"Did you...did you two...ya know..."
"No," she replied lowering her eyes.
"Did he try?"
Brie nodded her head without looking at him. The tears were flowing now.
Kris lifted her chin, but she refused to make eye contact with him.
"Brie, did he...hurt you?"
"He was so strong and so quick. The bedroom door was barely closed before he pushed me down on the bed and got on top of me," she cried.
Kris's blood was boiling and he could feel the anger rise inside him.
"I was so scared Kris. I kept telling him no but I couldn't get him off me. I faught as hard as I could but he wasn't moving. I think I gave up fighting at some point, I don't know, it's all pretty blurry. I remember him moving to get something out of his pocket and I kneed him in the balls as hard as I could. He rolled off me enough for me to get up and I was just about out the door and he grabbed me by the hair and I kicked him again. He grabbed my shirt and it ripped but I made it out the door. All I could think about was getting away from him and getting to you," she sobbed.
Kris was now on his knees in front of her holding her hands.
"Shhhh," he said wrapping his arms around her. "I'm going to kill him, you know that right?" he whispered into her hair.
"No! I just want to forget it happened."
"Brie, what he did was bordering on illegal. If he had've succeeded..."
"But he didn't and you know damn well what everyone will say. 'Oh, she went up there with him, she must have wanted it'."
"I'm sorry Brie, but I have to ask, why did you go up there with him?"
"Because I'm a horrible, horrible person and a horrible friend. I don't deserve you Kristopher. I don't deserve to be your friend."
Kris hugged her tightly to his body. "Brie, you're not making any sense."
"I can't tell you, I don't want you to think less of me. I don't want you to know how horrible I really am."
He chuckled a little at how ridiculous she was being. He took her face in his hands and said, "how could you even think that? Brie, you're being silly. You are my best friend and I love you. I could never think badly of you."
"You would if you knew the truth."
"Given the fact that you won't tell me, I think I already do."
"You...wait...what?"
"Jeanette told me the truth Brie," he said quietly. "And I can't say that I'm very happy about it. I'm your best friend, and it makes me really angry that you didn't tell me yourself."
Brie was beyond confused. She hadn't told Jeanette anything.
"What exactly did she tell you?"
"She told me that you really liked Rob and that you didn't tell me because I don't like him and you didn't want to hurt me."
"Well you don't like him."
"So it's true?" he asked unable to hide the hurt and disappointment in his voice.
Brie could hardly believe what she was hearing.
"NO! Absolutely not! I despise Rob!"
Now Kris was confused.
"Then why would Jeanette tell me that?"
"I have no idea..."she trailed off. "When did she tell you this?"
"Just after you went upstairs with him. I was on my way up to stop you and she stopped me."
The wheels were turning a mile a minute in Brie's head. She knew that Jeanette was jealous that Rob liked her and didn't give Jeanette the time of day, but she never thought she'd do anything that might intentionally hurt Brie.
"What else did she tell you?"
Kris really didn't want to open this can of worms but he knew he had no choice.
"She said that you've given up everything for me, done everything for me and that I've never done anything for you and now I was leaving. She said that I should let you have something for yourself and that something was Rob."
There was a long pause.
"Is that really the way you feel Brie?"
"No. Yes. Kind of. Ahhhhhhhhh! I hate this!"
"I'm really confused here Brie. What the hell is going on?"
"Everything is just so messed up Kris," Brie said getting up and going back to Kris' bedroom. She flopped herself down on the bed and buried her head in a pillow.
Kris followed her a minute later and sat down on the bed beside her. Instinctively he started caressing her hair just like he did the night before. He knew that was what could always soothe her.
"Brie, we've never lied to each other. We've always been able to tell each other everything, no matter how bad it was. Please tell me what's going on."
"You'll hate me," was the response that was muffled by the pillow.
"I assure you I could never, ever hate you Brie."
She took a deep breath before sitting up cross legged in front of him. The chocolate eyes that were staring back at her almost made her loose her nerve.
"Okay fine, but don't interrupt me because if you make me stop, I'll never get it out and I really, really need to get it out."
Kris took her hands and she closed her eyes, shook her head and blurt it all out.
"Yes, I am so pissed off that you're leaving me. I gave up all the things I loved to do so I could be there for you and what do I get in return? You leave. I honestly don't think that you owe me anything for supporting you, I really don't. I did it because I wanted to, it's just my heart is breaking because my best friend gets to live his dream and I'm left behind. I'm so proud of you because you've worked so hard for this. I want you to go and I want you to do well but I don't want to be left here without you. I have no other friends here because no one understands the relationship we have and now I'm going to be alone. I don't know how to be alone. I've never been alone. We've been together every day of our lives and now all of a sudden you'll be gone and I'm scared. I'm more than scared, I'm terrified! If you go, I have nothing here. I'm so angry that they're taking you away from me and I'm mad at you for wanting to go and it's stupid I know, because this is what we both wanted for you, but now it's reality and I'm clearly not coping with it very well. I am feeling so hurt and I just wanted you to hurt as much as I am so that's why I went upstairs with Rob, because I knew it would piss you off and hurt you and that's what I wanted. I wanted you to feel as bad as I do. I know it makes me a horrible person and an even worse friend and I'm sorry. I know I have no right to be mad, but I am and I'm sorry for that too. I want you to go, and I want you to be as great as I know you can be, and I want you to get to live every dream you have because you deserve it and I want you to know that I really do want that for you. I guess all the times I've thought about you living your dream, I never imagined that it would be without me. I'm sorry Kristopher, I am so, so, so, so, so, sorry for everything. I'm sorry for wanting to hurt you. I'm sorry for being such a drunken idiot. I'm sorry for being such a bitch. I'm sorry for resenting you. I'm sorry for being angry with you for no reason because it's something you have no control of. But most of all, I'm sorry for not being the kind of friend that you've been to me or the kind of friend you deserve. I completely understand if you hate me and never want to talk to me again, but I want you to know that I'm not proud of my actions over the last 24hours, but I am honestly happy for you. You are my best friend and I love you Kristopher. I hope you remember that, always."
There. She said it. It was out there and there was no taking it back. She raised her eyes to look at him and was surprised to see that there were tears on his cheeks. She cracked a little smile when their eyes met; waiting with much anticipation for his reaction to her confession.
He got up off the bed slowly and walked to the door, just like he did the night before. When he got to the door he simply turned around and said, "Go home Brielle."
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
You have crossed a huge line when you comment and call in to question my professional integrity. You seem to be hung up and this story being for my sexual enjoyment, and that is not the case, nor has anything in this story been sexual so get over it. I do not work for a school board or with teenage boys and the implication of something sinister or criminal toward me based on the "few sentences" you read crosses a line that you should not dare cross. I'm confident in saying that since you are so highly opinionated you have never admired a picture of an attractive young man (and the last time I checked, 19 was legal everywhere in the world). Is it my age that is offending you so much? Would you feel better if I was a 16 or 26 year old girl writing a story? You have no idea how old I am, you are assuming based on the fact I have two teenage boys. How do you know I am not 25 years old and married to an older man who had these children from a previous marriage? You don't; so stop making assumptions about situations you know nothing about. That's the thing about these stories, they are fiction and for all you know, my entire profile could be fiction too!
How did you find this story that offends you so much? I don't advertise it and to my knowledge the only place you could have found out about it was by reading another story or by seeing it posted on Sidney Crosby's girlfriend board. The last time I checked Sidney was the same age as Kris - hello pot meet kettle.
Again, I'm sorry you are so offended by the story but for the love of god DON'T READ IT!
How did you find this story that offends you so much? I don't advertise it and to my knowledge the only place you could have found out about it was by reading another story or by seeing it posted on Sidney Crosby's girlfriend board. The last time I checked Sidney was the same age as Kris - hello pot meet kettle.
Again, I'm sorry you are so offended by the story but for the love of god DON'T READ IT!
Dear kj
I'm sorry you feel so strongly about this story that you felt the need to post your comment twice.
First of all, I fail to see how this story is disrespectful to Kris or is based on real and tragic events in his life. The only thing true in this story so far is the fact that he is going to play junior hockey and last time I checked, nearly every player in the NHL did that. If you are implying that I am going to incorporate the very real, very tragic death of Luc Bourdon in this story, save your disdain because you can't possibly know what is in store for the future of this story.
Secondly, fan fics are exactly that; a fictional story about someone you are a fan of. That is what this story is - fiction. If there are similarities between my story and his real life, it is by pure coincidence and not the result of dillusional fantasies or any kind of creepy stalking to find out information about his life. I am a fan of the game of hockey and of Kris Letang. Kris is a talented player and I admire him for the way he plays the game and the kind of person that he is. Not that I need to defend myself, but I assure you I am not a lonely housewife in sloppy clothes, fantasizing about a young hockey player because I feel neglected. I have no dillusional fantasies of having a romantic relationship, or any relationship for that matter, with anyone. These stories are merely a creative outlet for people who love to write, nothing more, nothing less. And just for the record, I am NOT old enough to be his mother.
Finally, I don't have to ask myself how Kris or his family would feel about this story if they read it, I am not writing a sexual fantasy or about real life tragedies, and there are far worse things that have been and will be written about him (read some of the other fan fics or girlfriend boards etc.). That is after all something that comes with being a public figure. What I will ask is this: if you are so offended by the story, why are you reading it? I believe in the right to free speech and that everyone is entitled to their opinion, so thank you for voicing yours and commenting on my little story; but in the future make sure you have your facts straight before commenting and please feel free not to read my story!
Cheers!
I'm sorry you feel so strongly about this story that you felt the need to post your comment twice.
First of all, I fail to see how this story is disrespectful to Kris or is based on real and tragic events in his life. The only thing true in this story so far is the fact that he is going to play junior hockey and last time I checked, nearly every player in the NHL did that. If you are implying that I am going to incorporate the very real, very tragic death of Luc Bourdon in this story, save your disdain because you can't possibly know what is in store for the future of this story.
Secondly, fan fics are exactly that; a fictional story about someone you are a fan of. That is what this story is - fiction. If there are similarities between my story and his real life, it is by pure coincidence and not the result of dillusional fantasies or any kind of creepy stalking to find out information about his life. I am a fan of the game of hockey and of Kris Letang. Kris is a talented player and I admire him for the way he plays the game and the kind of person that he is. Not that I need to defend myself, but I assure you I am not a lonely housewife in sloppy clothes, fantasizing about a young hockey player because I feel neglected. I have no dillusional fantasies of having a romantic relationship, or any relationship for that matter, with anyone. These stories are merely a creative outlet for people who love to write, nothing more, nothing less. And just for the record, I am NOT old enough to be his mother.
Finally, I don't have to ask myself how Kris or his family would feel about this story if they read it, I am not writing a sexual fantasy or about real life tragedies, and there are far worse things that have been and will be written about him (read some of the other fan fics or girlfriend boards etc.). That is after all something that comes with being a public figure. What I will ask is this: if you are so offended by the story, why are you reading it? I believe in the right to free speech and that everyone is entitled to their opinion, so thank you for voicing yours and commenting on my little story; but in the future make sure you have your facts straight before commenting and please feel free not to read my story!
Cheers!
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